Tuesday, February 28, 2017

Listening to the inner voice

Take time to listen 
We are a very noisy generation but then many of us don’t even feel the noise because we have become immune to that. We have time to listen to everything and everyone but ourselves. We are so much driven by the external voices that we have no time to listen to our inner voice. We have media, television, runways, movies, and many other sources telling us how we should be living our lives and what choices we should be making.
I myself am guilty of letting the external voices influence my life in many areas. By no means am I trying to say that finally I have mastered the art of listening to my inner voice but yes I have at least started trying. In my attempt to listening to my inner voice I have come to realize that I have betrayed myself over and over again.
It might sound too cliché but life is really way too simple. I wish I could make it sound more convincing but this is one fact that every individual will have to understand on their own. The moment I started to try and listen to myself I came to understand that most of the complications of my life were created by me. I had been surrounding myself with complications all around especially in the form of stuffs. The moment I came to realize this, I started getting rid of stuffs that were unnecessarily occupying space in my life. I also came across the concept of ‘minimalism’. If you are not yet aware of ‘minimalism’, my suggestion is try and find out. It will help you simplify your complicated life.
If I start mentioning all the different areas of my life that minimalism has had an impact I will not be able to finish writing this post. However, my future posts will cover some areas. For this post I will start with one area where I have made a major change.

Disclaimer: This is a method that has worked for me and I have done my research well. So it may or may not work for you. If you are interested please do your research first.

This post is about my hair so I will be mentioning about the products for my hair. I remember as a child, I never bothered what products I used. I did not grow up with the luxury of parents taking care of me and so I grew up washing my hair sometimes just with water and other times with any product available. Trust me as a child I had a very health hair and scalp. But then I started growing up I started believing that my hair needed shampoo, conditioner, serum, mask and etc. Obviously, the brands did not reach out to me to give me this message but the message was clear to me. Well I would say the markets have done a commendable job and hats off to their smartness but I am choosing to not be fooled by their smartness anymore. I am a student of economics and I have been studying about the markets for quite some time now and to a great extend I do understand how the markets function. But since I was so busy listening to external voices I never took time to think about it seriously.
I remember the day I had this revelation regarding my hair, it was 9th November 2016 and since then I have never shampooed my hair let alone conditioning. Again let me tell you that I have a lifestyle where I can afford to go with bad hair days and I don’t mind not looking my best every day. You may be in a profession where you have to look your absolute best every moment and in that case what worked for me will definitely not work for you. You will have to see for yourself what will work for you.
If you are wondering how do I wash my hair if I don’t  use shampoo, I use a ‘black soap’ free of chemicals (it’s some local soap) to wash my hair now and I wash my hair just twice a week. Initially my hair started acting weird because my hair craved for all the chemicals it was used to. Ultimately my hair started adjusting to the new chemical free process and my hair is getting back to its natural form. Above all my life has become so much simpler at least in this area and I save a lot of time.
The lesson I learned is that just like my hair had become so insensitive to all the harsh chemicals, we also become insensitive to all the toxic we surround ourselves with. We get so used to listening to the external voices that anytime we don’t hear those voices we feel like it’s abnormal because we start accepting external voices as our ‘ new normal’.

Now take some time to check when the last time you listened to your inner voice was. As you practice listening to your inner voice your life will never be the same. 

Love and Light,
Deborah

Thursday, January 26, 2017

turning 30

I wouldn't want to be any younger because the wisdom I have collected along life's journey this far is not worth my youth.
Wow! I am officially turning 30.What a journey it has been. I have learned that life is all about growing, exploring and taking up challenges. I have come through many stages of life and I would like to believe that I have grown as wise as a 30 year old should.

I know I have not come up with any post for quite sometime now and that's because I wanted to start my post for 2017 on my birthday.
I am going to share some nuggets I have picked along the journey of life during my 29 years on this beautiful planet. The lessons (in no particular order) are:

1) God is always good : 
I have experienced God's love in so many different areas in my life. God's love and goodness may not always have come to me in the best shape and form but when all was said and done I could always see that bright light shinning through in the darkest of times. God has always been good to me even in times when I was not able to understand His goodness and I am grateful. 

2) Wisdom is the best wealth:
 I wouldn't trade wisdom for anything at all and would give up anything and everything for it. Wisdom is what helps the wise keep going when all odds are against them, make better choices and live a better life.

3) Nobody has it all figured out:
I am a very curious person, always willing to learn but I seem to have been so obsessed with knowing it all that I started stressing myself over it. I had to learn to pause and be OK with not knowing everything.I have learned that I don't have to know everything to use everything. Now I am much relaxed taking one step at a time and I have learned that no body has it all figured  out.

4) Not everyone is going to like you and that is perfectly OK: 
You maybe the best piece of apple   there is but there will always be people who do not like apple. So it should not be your problem if you come across these people. You are still the same the person. Be the person you are irrespective   who does or doesn't like you.

5) Never take education for granted: 
Now by education I don't mean the number certificates you hold but the opportunities to learn. The degrees certificates earned are the by product of education. You may lose what you earn but you will never lose what you learn.

6) You don't have to give into peer pressure and try and fit in: 
For this you need to know yourself very well otherwise you will keep trying to fit in or be like someone else. Once you are confident of who you are it won't matter who like you as long as you like you. DON'T waste your time trying to be like someone else. You will be the happiest when you learn to be confident of who you are irrespective of whether your peers are on board with you or not. 

7) Never stop growing and learning: 
The moment you stop growing and learning is the moment you stop living. I can't imagine a day in my life when I get to learn nothing. Irrespective of how learned or well read one may be there is always enough space to learn and grow more. Never let anything come between you and your growth.

8) Less is more:
The less stuffs you own the richer you feel. 2016 was the year I started understanding minimalism and it has helped me reflect on everything understand that life is never about owning stuffs. I have learned tot own only those stuffs that bring you true joy. It was the book 'The Life Changing magic of tidying up' by Marie Kondo that helped me on my journey to minimalism.

9) Be your own best friend: 
This lesson has made my life so much better. Obviously I did not learn it the easy way. I did struggle to be my own best friend but now that I am, every single moment of my life is so much more beautiful. I realized that I am one person that I will have to spend most of my life with and if I don't be a friend to myself life is going to get tough. Now that I am my own best friend, I can't remember the last time I was so depressed that I couldn't get over it. I do have my down moments but I immediately come to my rescue and everything seem to be great again.

10) No heartbreak is easy:  
Every heart break is difficult but if you come out to the other side, you will come out so much stronger and better. It is true that 'what does not kill you definitely makes you stronger'. So if you are not dying then hold on a little longer, there are beautiful days ahead. Remind yourself this, "Sweetheart you are not the only one going through it".

11) Listen more and talk less: 
Well this an easy one for me because I am not a talker. If you don't have anything good to say than it's better you say nothing at all. Anytime you get an opportunity to listen to words of wisdom grasp the opportunity. Soon you will realize that you know so much more than you thought you do just because you have been listening.

12) Do not let your expenditure exceed your income:  
I have learned to make sure my expenditure do not exceed my income. Not being in debt makes life so much better. I can't even imagine being in debt. I understand for some it is unavoidable but always make sure you keep your expenditure  is less than your income.

13) Forgiveness is for me and not for the one who receives it: 
If you can forgive it just just means that you are a strong and wise person. You understand that humans are meant to make mistakes sometime. If I can forgive someone I am not doing that person a favor but I am doing myself a great favor and you will be able to relate to me if you are a wise person. However, if you can't  relate to this, then I hope and pray that you get to do so very soon.

14) Any relationship is hard work: 
It is all about figuring out which ones are worth putting in hard work and which ones are not. 

15)  Everything happens for a reason: 
When I look back to the years I have lived, every single circumstance, people or thing that has ever crossed my path has in some way or the other served some purpose in my life and helped me be the person I am today or is leading me towards who I want to become tomorrow. There were things that happened and at that time they seemed unfair, was painful and horrible but today I realize that without those moments I would have never realized my strength. I don't believe that anything happens by chance or luck. Everything in  life comes to us to test us and leave us once we learn the lesson.The hardest lessons in life are the most important ones

16) There is no failure only lessons and results: 
We have all flunked a test, got out hearts broken from relationships that didn't work out, wanted one thing and got another and the list goes on. I have learned from the highly successful people that true success comes from not giving up and learning to fail. The people who enjoy great success were ones who dealt with their share of failure. Read about Thomas Edison, Abraham Lincoln or all the other successful people you know of and you will see how many times these people had to choose to not give up to failure. You are only a failure if choose to give up. 

17) Your Challenges in life are the beautiful crown you get to wear: 
The beauty of challenge is   that they mold us to be the best version of who we are meant to be but that will only happen if  you let the challenges build you and not destroy you. The beautiful testimonies come from people who have overcome the worst in life.

18) Your excuses will not take you anywhere in life: 
I have learned to rise above my excuses and   do what I am suppose to do. Remember that the world is so much bigger than your problems. The only thing you may earn from your excuses is little bit of sympathy and nothing more. Who wants sympathy anyway!

19) Nothing in life is constant: 
At times change may make us uncomfortable but that's exactly what we need in life for our growth. Learn to embrace the changes in life because they are beautiful. It  is OK to be nervous about the change but it is not OK to put your life on hold fearing the unknown.

20) Fear will only disappear when you confront it: 
We all have some or the other kind of fear and as long as we keep running from our fears, they are going to keep following us. The moment we confront the fears they suddenly have no guts to face us.

21) Bad attitude is all you need for a miserable life:
It doesn't matter how blessed you are if you do not carry the right attitude you are always going to be miserable. Good attitude may not always help you get out of your problems but it is going you give you the strength that you need to deal with your problems. And that is going make you a better and stronger person than who you used  to be. Good attitude is not always having a great life but it all about making the best out of the life you have.

22) You are not in competition with anyone but YOU: 
There will always be someone who is better than you  and that is perfectly OK. Of course be inspired by people but at the end of the day the only person you should be competing  with is you. Learn from people , be inspired and motivated  by good qualities in people and keep trying to be the best version of you. Remember we all have our strengths and weaknesses.

23)Don't postpone being happy: 
Don't wait to be happy when this or that happens. Be happy in this very moment irrespective of what you have or don't have. Happiness is not be hoped for or chase after. It is to be created in this very moment. It's a choice.

24) Hurt people hurt others: 
As you walk through life you are going to find people who will try and dump their garbage on you but don't take it personally because these are the people who are carrying way too much garbage and are looking for someone to dump it on. If you choose to get hurt you are simply taking in the garbage dumped on you. So just be thankful that you are not carrying their garbage and do sympathize them but don't take in the garbage.

25) Blessings in disguise are real: 
In life we have to fight through some real challenges to earn the best days in life. You may be in the worst part of your life and you may be thinking 'what good can come out of this situation?' but let me tell you that the best things in my life have come to me after my darkest hours.  Trust me life will end up surprising you in ways you can not even imagine. Don't be intimidated by the challenges you face. Most of the hardest moments of my life were actually the blessings in disguise and I am so glad that I did not yield to those moments.

26) There is so much more to life than how we look: 
I have learned that beauty is not about how we look on the outside but how we feel in the inside. If we have an ugly heart we will never be beautiful no matter how much we cover up. No one knows us better than we know ourselves so if your heart is not right you are never going to feel beautiful. Now as I am turning 30 I can see the       difference in my skin, I have started getting some dark spots and fine lines on my face but never before have I ever felt as beautiful as I do now.

27) Take one step at a time: 
Don't be intimated by looking at the height of the mountain you have   before you, just focus only on the next step you will have to take and soon you are going to learn that you have reached much further than you thought was possible. Even if the path is way too difficult just think about the step you are taking, slowly but surely you will get there.

28) Quality over quantity: 
Quality always win over quantity. I choose quality over quantity for everything now, however I was not always this person. There was a time when I wanted to have  as many as possible (typical human behavior) and I would trade off quantity over quality .  Now I have learned to make better judgement. I now prefer few clothes that are of good quality, few friends who are real and few stuffs that are worth having. I am very happy with all that I  have in my life today.

29) There is no one size fits for all:  
In every area of life there is no just the one way that is just right.  I have learned that not everyone has to be like me and neither do I have to be like everyone else. We are meant to be different and we have to walk our own path. There is no one right way to do things, our ways of doing the same thing may be very different depending on the person we are but that does not necessarily mean one of our ways is right and the other is wrong.

30) Age is just a number: 
Well last but not the least I am grateful for every single day of my life. I have walked through some pretty harsh paths and I am grateful for every path I have come across. I also know there are going to paths that I will have to walk that are going to be more difficult than what I have walked through and I am preparing myself  for every path. I know I am going to need some pretty good shoes to walk the tough roads or maybe good wheels but when I get there I don't want to be intimidated and back off. And YES age is just a number, whatever it is you want to do with your life you should just go for it and age should never be an excuse for you to stop dreaming or for your growth.


Of course I can go on and on because I am learning almost every moment but for now I just want to share 30 most important lessons to mark my 30th birthday. I hope some of these will be helpful to you. Please do share some lessons you have learned because I am always willing to learn.

Thank you for taking time to read and I am grateful for you. If you have read through the full post I can tell that you are a person who is willing to learn so all I have to say is keep up the spirit and Keep learning. Keep growing.


Stay beautiful,
Deborah.

Wednesday, October 26, 2016

Dawn will come

Harriet Beecher Stowe said, "When you get into a tight place and everything goes against you, till it seems as though you could not hang on a minute longer, never give up then, for that is just the place and time that the tide will turn."

How is life?
You must be feeling like you are consumed by some kind of darkness in your life at this moment and there must be so much uncertainty you are surrounded with but my friend I would like to remind you to please hold on for sometime. This maybe the moment when the tide will turn and if you are to give up you will never know what's on the other side. If you need someone to talk to do so, if you need some motivation get it from some good source, if you need to cry shed some tears but believe that you are strong enough to get through this. Tell yourself that you are exactly where you are suppose to be in your life. Don't be intimidated by the darkness you see around and also know that it is always the darkest before the dawn. The dawn is almost here so gather up all your inner strength and keep holding on to whatever it is that you have worked on this long. 
The reason you see the intense darkness around you is because you are about to see the light and only if you have the experience of the darkness you will be able to appreciate the beauty of light. This is not a punishment to you but a blessing in disguise for you. 
Be proud of yourself for coming this far. Pat yourself on the back and tell yourself that you are proud of you. You deserve to be appreciated for making it this far. While you are holding on prepare yourself to face the light.
Are you confident that you will be able to handle the light when you have to face it? Do you think it is taking so long for the dawn to reach you because you are not fully prepared to face the light yet? If so then do something about it, get to know yourself better and figure out what is it that you need to work on. Are you sure you are not simply wasting your time feeling sorry for yourself and complaining instead of preparing yourself?

In the words of Tony Robbins, "The secret of success is learning how to use pain and pleasure instead of having pain and pleasure use you. If you do that you are in control of your life. If you don't, life controls you."

Don't let your dark moments and the pain make you bitter, negative or discouraged. If you keep holding onto the pains of life you are only going to suffer. Instead let your pain be a catalyst to push you ahead and make you stronger. I don't know what will help you to deal with pain but as for me whenever I am in doubt and in my down moments I either pray, exercise , breath or try and be grateful for all the good things in life. To be grateful you need not think of all the fancy things in life, pause for a moment feel your breath and be grateful that you still got breath inside of you. The reason that you are still breathing is a reason good enough to not give up. 
The darkness can last only for so long and it is natural for the dawn to show up after the darkness. This is a gentle reminder for you to not give up, whatever it is that you are going through.

Stay strong and live beautiful!!!

Saturday, October 15, 2016

My Capsule Wardrobe

This week we had four days of holiday and I got some time to work on my closet. Winter is almost here and so I was changing my wardrobe into a winter wardrobe. In the past I have had to spend the whole day or two days to work on my closet but this time it did not take me more than 2 hours to be done with rearranging my wardrobe. I was amazed at how simple my life has become at least in one area and so I couldn't help but share my experience.
          
                    If you would like to know how this change happened please keep reading.

There has been so much buzz of the concept of capsule wardrobe recently and I really wanted to try it out myself. The concept of capsule wardrobe has been around for about more than four decades now and this concept was introduced by Susie Faux, founder of  "Wardrobe" (the boutique) in 1970s. Capsule wardrobe is defined as a collection of an individual's wardrobe essentials that don't go out of fashion. 

For me it was first sight love with the concept of capsule wardrobe.  I fell in love with the concept the very moment I came to know about it. 
How many of us ladies can relate to the wardrobe meltdowns, when you have closet full of clothes but nothing appropriate to wear. Sounds familiar? well I have been there so I hear you. 

I have passed that phase and since I have made up my mind to live a minimalist kind of lifestyle, the very first thing I started with was my wardrobe. Now I have about 30 to 40 pieces of clothes as a part of my capsule wardrobe and I don't face the wardrobe meltdown situations. I always have something to wear and it saves so much time. I can get ready within no time now. I love the feeling of owning less and being happy about it.

I am in no way saying that I have a perfect wardrobe and I am not 100% sure if I am in love with everything in my closet yet but it is a work in progress. As long as the progress is happening no matter how small, I am happy. I have learned that in life be it in any area, it's never about the finish line but the process. I am however very much in love with the journey I am on with building my capsule wardrobe.  Someday I definitely wish to own only those pieces that I absolutely love but for now I am proud of myself for coming this far. 

In the past my wardrobe was filled with cheap clothes and when I needed something to wear I would find nothing. I have learned to go for quality over quantity. I don't mean that now I only own expensive clothes but yes now when I go and buy clothes I make sure that I don't compromise with the quality.

I don't know what stage of life you are in and maybe you are thinking that you will not be able to afford to get rid of all your clothes and think over. I get that and have been there. Now, I know that if only I would have tried not to fit in but be myself I would have been able to do so long time back even when I was a student. It is so common that when we are very young we keep trying to fit in thinking that is what's "cool" but the truth is standing out is "cool". If I could advice my younger self , I would tell her how beautiful and perfectly imperfect she is and that she need not try and fit in but stand out being who she is. 


Stay Chic, Stay beautiful.


Wednesday, September 28, 2016

Letter to a daughter

Daughters are like flowers, the more you take care the more beautiful they grow. 
 If I had a daughter this is the letter I would want her to read and I am sure all our mothers would like us to know these things. Our mothers may not have framed the sentences in these exact words but I am sure they do want us to know these things. I am obviously not a mother and not even close to becoming one but if I ever have a daughter I would want her to grow up to be a woman with strength, grace and standard. It is also a reminder to myself and all the daughters out there. This letter is dedicated to all the daughters including myself (all women).
_________________________________________________________________________________

My dear daughter (all the daughters),

You are a beautiful angel and God's gift to me and the world. Welcome to the beautiful world and hats off to you for being born as a girl child.  You are a piece of my heart and so it is not going to be easy for me to let you face the reality of the world. Though the world is a beautiful place and life is so very interesting but you are going to get knocked down several times until you learn to see the beauty of being knocked down. So please hear me out and remember some of these words when you face difficult situations.

Life is going to hit you hard and not just once but time and again. When you get hit don't misunderstand it as life's way of punishing you but it is how life teach lessons. It's not just you, everyone has to walk through that path from time to time. The only difference is that some of us have learned the lessons and it has become little easier for us now. You will get there.

You are going to have bruised knee, pimple marks and broken heart but that's all normal so don't you dare pause your life for anything or anyone. Sooner or later you are going to know that the superman, the superwoman or the prince charming ain't coming to rescue you. You got to be your own rescue. No matter how tall or wise you grow, your beautiful hands or your beautiful mind will never grow enough to heal all your pains. So get to know God personally because only with His strength you will be able to make it to the next level.

My dear baby girl I know you are going to wander sometimes in search of true love and before you find the right person you are going to get your heart broken. You may get your heart broken once, twice or may be several times but don't you dare give up on love. Don't ever get bitter towards anyone even when your heart is broken into thousand pieces. Trust me I wouldn't have said this if I had not gotten my heart broken but I did. However, I learned to rise up and start looking at my broken heart as one of the best blessings of my life. You may not want to believe this when you get your heart broken but please keep living and you will see that I am right.When you get your heart broken I would like you to know that I am right here for you with all the chocolates you need till you exhaust your tears. 

However, also know this that once you have cried out your tears, you got to get back up on your two feet even if your feet feel feeble. Trust me you will have to walk some distance before you get back the strength on your feet. So don't you dare wait for the strength to come looking for you because strength is strange that way. It only walks toward those who walk towards it. Every time you are knocked down if you make it a habit of walking back towards the strength, trust me very soon strength will start walking towards you anytime you are in need. 

Never spend your life with someone who doesn't respect and celebrate you. Be grateful that you are born in this generation and take full advantage of it. You are of the generation which doesn't necessarily pressurize  you to share your life with just anyone. If you never find the person for whom your heart beats and someone who you would want to share your life with, then, please know this that "IT IS OK TO STAY SINGLE FOREVER" if you choose to. Whether you choose to get married or stay single, do so on your own terms. However you choose to live your life is up to you. Don't let anyone tell you what you should do with your life, not even me.

My dear baby girl you don't have to pretend to be strong when you feel weak. All strong people feel weak but they never give up. If the pain is too severe for the chocolates to heal then you will always have the rain to cry with you if no one else. Go out in the rain and cry all your tears and let the sky cry with you. If not the rain then there will always be some other way. You will have to make a way and see what works for you. We are all very unique and so what works for me may not work for you but there is always something that works for us individually. It's your quest to figure out what's that magic for you.

Be your own self. You need not try and be like anyone else other than you. If you try and be like someone else you are always going to fail but you will make an excellent "You". Just do you. Be it make up, fashion, style or self image, personalize and know who you are. Just because something looks good on some "influential  figure" doesn't mean you have to try and copy them. Take off the pressure to be like someone else. Your goal should always be to be the best version of you. Take good care of yourself, be it your skin, health, beauty, heart or dream. Always remember that you are your only competition.

When things doesn't go your way and life doesn't make sense, still keep believing in the beauty of life. No matter how steep a mountain you might have to climb, don't you dare give up, trust me the view from the mountain top will be worth the climb. Don't be afraid to stick your tongue out to get the taste of life, you may not always like how it tastes but you got to be familiar with the different tastes of life. So take risk and gain the experiences.

People will tell you all sorts of things and will try to caution you but before you take any opinion,  take time to know yourself and your creator. If you take time to listen to the creator you will always find an answer to your questions, so take time to listen.  Also remember when you pray God will always answer. At times God's answer will be "NO", so then you got to know that He has something better for you. Never stop believing that you were created with a beautiful purpose and never settle for a mediocre life. 

My beautiful baby girl always remember that I did not bring you into this world so that you just make it through life,but you were born to be a warrior and do life justice. Don't ever stop growing and learning. You deserve to live a beautiful life but you got to survive through the difficult times and not give up. 

My sweet little girl, live life in humility always. Always apologies when you have done something wrong but don't you dare be sorry or guilty for speaking the truth, doing the right thing, for refusing to settle for a mediocre life, for the way your beautiful eyes sparkle , for the passion you carry inside of you and above all for your faith.   

You may never feel fully prepared or ready but do show up.  Take as many risks as early in life as possible. There are going to be few or many failures but  better fail than never try. As long as you are trying you are already ahead of those who aren't doing so. You are the youngest you can be at this moment. From this moment on you are only going to get older so no matter how old or young you are, this is the right time to start. You definitely haven't figured it all out yet, but who has?  Don't beat yourself up for that, you will never figure out everything and that's perfectly OK.

This is definitely not everything I would want you know there are many more. No single person will be able to teach you all the lessons of life, so learn from everyone you come across. Every person you meet will have something to teach you if only you stay sensitive. You are exactly where you are suppose to be at this point in life. As you go through life you are going to learn so much more and I hope to get some wise advice from you. I am growing and learning too so I hope to give you better advice in future when I know better.

For now this is all I have to say. Stay blessed and beautiful.

Love,
Mom (all the moms). 

Wednesday, August 24, 2016

A small message to all my womenfolks

Be whoever you want to be
Today I see a lot of women under so much stress trying to match up to the "standards"set by the world which is so confused on its own.
 It breaks my heart to see all these women not being able to see the inner beauty and strength in them. So this is my message to all those women who feel less than in any area.

Dear beautiful woman!

You are not just a face, not just a body, not the weight on the scale, not the shoes you wear, not the make up you put on, not the number of followers on social network, not how prestigious your job is, not how much money you make or the number on your score card.
None of these determine your worth.

You need not try and be any more thinner, taller, prettier, louder, quieter or anything other than what you already are unless you want to change for yourself.
Don't you dare spend your time trying to make your body, thoughts and voice to match up to the "standard"set by the world.

You are beautiful and just the fact that you exist is a proof enough to prove that are worthy.
Don't waste your time trying to be popular instead take that time to take care of yourself and to find the real you.
Spend your time building a stronger body, a brilliant mind and a kind heart.
Get stronger and let the world see the real you, the beautiful you, the wise you , the kind you and the unique you.

Regardless of who you think you are, you are never too much but always enough dear beautiful woman.

Stay beautiful and keep living because the world needs that beauty inside of you.

Love Deborah.

Thursday, August 11, 2016

"Me Too"

I don't like to just sit and talk about problems of life and I know many of you don't either, but when people are hurting, I would at least want to be able to understand what they are going through. When I encounter people who are hurting I wish if only I could just say "ME TOO"( meaning that I have been through that situation and I know exactly how you are feeling) if nothing else. 

I would like to know how it feels like being rejected, broken, betrayed, hurt, messed up, failed, disappointed, vulnerable etc. I have noticed that when I know someone is going through what I have been through I tend to be more empathetic and not judgmental towards their action. However, that's not always the case with people who are going through issues I have never come across. To them I can't say "ME TOO" even if I want to because I know no matter how much I pretend to I will never be able to understand what they are going through exactly.  
Obviously none of us like it when we are going through any of these situations but once we are through it we always see life from a very different perspective. 
Anytime I am able to say "ME TOO" are the moments when I am grateful for all difficult times in my life. That's the beauty of experiences that are not so beautiful.  

Whenever I am going through that phase in life when I need someone to just be there for me, I would prefer someone who can say "ME TOO" to my situation because that person would exactly understand my pain.  I would rather not have any one around than have people who wouldn't be able to relate to my pain. 

For most of my life I have been a pretty positive kind of person but there have been times in my life when I have not been able to practice what I know. One thing I have noticed is that, any time I am going through the difficult phase of life, my common sense is the first one to leave me alone. I somehow tend to make wrong decisions and give in to the heat of the moment. And every time I come out of  those catastrophic situations I tell myself I am going to do things differently next time but I don't always make right decision when next time comes around. I Know many of you do the same so yes "ME TOO".
Yes! I am guilty of making the same mistake twice, thrice or most of the the time more often .

I don't think that the catastrophes that we go through in life have to be the devastation but those incidences can be the best experiences if only we can learn to see the hidden lessons. Just because I am writing about it doesn't mean I can always see the beauty in every situation but yes I do with all my heart believe that there is something good in every bad. One of those goods is of course being able to say "ME TOO".

So whatever you are going through in your life just be present in that moment and try and see what life is trying to teach you. Do not miss out on the experiences life is giving you. You do not want to be missing out on the "ME TOO" moments.

Take every circumstance in life as a beautiful experience and live beautiful!!!

Monday, August 1, 2016

Being a minimalist

Minimalism is becoming a huge trend and there are many great testimonies from people who have made this lifestyle change. I am in love with the concept and have been trying to practice it myself.  I have started my journey of being a minimalist.  I am in love with this process of being a minimalist and so I am writing about it a bit. 

For those of you who are not familiar with the concept of minimalism, though there are many definitions, but the one I like the most is that 'it is all about simplifying your life'. By simplifying I mean decluttering the stuffs from your life that doesn't serve the purpose anymore. It is about being aware and mindful of the choices that you make in what you keep in your life and what you let go. Once the space starts getting cleared out, life becomes so much more simple. It is just an idea and a concept, so there is no guidelines as such to follow. You can just practice the parts of minimalism that you resonate to and  anything that doesn't make sense to you can be left out. There is no obligation as such to follow the rules. It is more about the mindset than the quantity of stuffs. 

It's not about getting rid of all the stuffs but letting go of things or people that weigh you down. Now that I am getting familiar with the concept of minimalism I am made aware of the fact that in certain areas of my life I have always been a minimalist but in other areas I was completely the opposite. 
Growing up I remember I always had very less friends. I am pretty protective when it comes to my inner circle and till date I can very easily count the number of people in my inner circle. I can be somehow defined as a nerd. I have to admit that I seem to enjoy the company of books more than the company of people many a times. To me it does not matter how many people I have in my life but who are the people I call my friends. I know everyone is not the same and everyone need not be the same but this is who I am. 

 I have never been a minimalist when it comes to stuffs though. I owned way too many stuffs and I wasn't even aware of it until recently when I started decluttering my stuffs. Since I started decluttering my stuffs, clothes specifically, I am in a much happier place and I love the feeling of owning less. I don't even get the urge to shop every now and then any more. 
I am not saying that everyone should practice minimalism. It may not work for everyone but it really works well for me. Since I started on this journey of being a minimalist  my life is so less complicated and manageable. 

If you think minimalism is something that interest you then keep visiting my blog because I will be writing more on this topic. If you would like to learn the art of decluttering I would recommend the book 'The life changing Magic of tidying up ', the Japanese art of decluttering and organizing by Marie Kondo. That book completely changed my life. 

You don't have to try and compare your journey to anyone else's . The most important thing about minimalism I think is just being more mindful about your choices in any area of your life. There should be no judgement or comparison of your journey with anyone else's. 

Keep it simple and live beautiful!

Wednesday, July 13, 2016

KNOW YOUR WORTH

KNOW YOUR WORTH


Recently I was in a conversation with a beautiful young lady. She was heartbroken and mentioned to me about the guy who she is love with but he seem to be pulling away from her. She said, “he used to love me but now may be I am not pretty enough for him anymore“. I could completely relate to her because I have been through that stage but still it broke my heart that she couldn’t see the beauty in herself. I know for sure that somewhere down the line she is going to look back and be grateful to that guy for pulling away but for the stage she was in I just wanted to remind her of her worth.

As I was talking to her, I realized that there are many young people (boys and girls) who struggle with this issue and so I wanted to put these words down in writing so that this message will reach few more people.
Many of us base our worth on how someone else perceives us. I am guilty of doing that myself but I have learned my lesson and I would want few more people to know this. There is a great danger when we get into a relationship without first knowing our worth.

I have been happily single for a very long time now and I have never before felt this beautiful, confident and worthy as I do now. I have learned that I don’t need someone else to tell me how beautiful I am or what I am worth. I just know that deep within.  
I am single not because there are no good guys out there or I can’t find a guy. There are many great guys and from time to time there have been guys who liked me and I am always grateful to them but I don’t base my value on whether someone likes me or not. It’s not just about guys, I have reached a stage in my life where it does not matter much to me whether someone likes me or not. And FYI, someone liking you isn’t a reason good enough to be in relationship with, at least for me. I know my worth very well so I know that I deserve someone who will not just like me but love me and pursue me.  

Do yourself a favor and never wait on anyone be it a guy, a girl, a friend, a family member or anyone for that matter to validate your worth. Take some time to understand yourself and know your worth. That will be the best favor you will do for yourself. If someone does not like you, then praise God and wave them goodbye but without any bitterness (that's very important). I have done that several times in my life and I have always been better off waving goodbye to certain people.

You may not be like me and that’s perfectly OK, you just do the things that will work for you and make you happy. I have very limited number of people in my life and I like it that way but you may not like that. People often tell me that I am arrogant and that my standards are too high and unreasonable and so I may end up single forever. My response to them is always the same, “I will be happily single forever if I don’t find someone who loves me that way”. I have no plan of settling for anything less than what I deserve. If you are not like me and you think you can not be happy if you are not in a relationship then I am not the person who you should be listening to because I am always going to say that you can chose to be happy whether or not you are in a relationship.

Whether you agree with me or not is completely your choice but one thing you got agree with me is that before you get into any kind of relationship you GOT to KNOW YOUR WORTH . If you do not know your worth, you are going to base your worth on what someone else tells you. Trust me you do not want to base your value to someone else's  judgment of who you are. No one knows you better than you know yourself. So you alone get to make the judgment of who you are.
You are a beautiful person and so never let your circumstance or any person determine who you are and where you are going. 

KNOW YOUR WORTH always and stay beautiful!


Wednesday, June 29, 2016

You are stronger than you know

Are you hurting? 
Well you are not alone!

Does it hurt really bad? 
Cry! But then get back up once you are done crying and get back in the game (whatever it is).
Don't waste your pain but reward yourself for the hurt by getting to the next level.
Every time I am hurt I make it a point to shift myself to a higher level than I was before the pain happened. I no longer play a pity party every time I experience pain but take it as an opportunity to grow. 

What you are made up of is not judged by how well you celebrate the good times but by how well you handle your bad days. 
No matter how painful the pain, how great the set back, how bad the failure  or how great the loss, feel the pain but don't give up. 

 Don't judge your future based on what's going on in your life right now. Whatever you are going through has not come to stay but to test you and pass by. Have an attitude that says no matter how tough it gets or how much it hurts I am going to pass the test.  Don't let the cloudy days and the storms intimidate you.

The storm in your life right now is trying to teach you something very important but  you are so busy being mad and feeling sorry for yourself that you are about to miss out the hidden blessings.

What if you let few people walk away and you wave them good bye when they leave instead of hanging onto the memory of who you wanted someone to be?
Trust me it will all be worth it. You are going to look back on things you are crying about and be grateful that you went through it all.

You are so much stronger than you know but how are you going to figure that out unless you are tested by the challenges.
Trust me when this storm in your life is over and if you do not give up, you are going to find yourself in next level (much higher).
The very reason many of us get stuck at one point in life is because of our feelings and emotions that is filled with bitterness toward the world. When we are bitter it mostly hinders our growth.

The pain that used to bug me yesterday doesn't affect me anymore because I made it a point to learn my lessons instead of whining over the pain.
I have learned that it is always darkest  before the dawn so when you think you can no more tolerate the pain just hang in there a little longer because you never know how close you are to the light.

Don't stop fighting as long as you  have life to live. You got to have a vision that pulls you because the pull is what helps you go long way.
All the people I know who are(were) great and are doing (did) great things, the ones I have seen, read about and heard of are (were) the ones who despite the pain walked that extra mile when the others gave up.

When it hurts keep going because the very fact that it's hurting is because you are going to the next level. There is always another level so you got push yourself and raise the bar. Whenever you are tempted to give up remember that in that very moment you are writing your legacy. The key is believing in yourself when no one believes in you and your abilities.

Get out of the comfort zone and be tough. Use your pain as the fuel to drive you to your success and to better version of you.

Keep up the good fight!
 Live beautiful!