what would i advice the 16 year old me?

It seems like it was just yesterday that I was 16. It’s really amazing how time passes by so swift.

I don’t have many regrets and the ones I have I try and disregard because those were the best lessons for me. Everything that I didn't do right and everything that once broke my heart helped me be a better person than who I was.  I am a firm believer that we all need to face both the dark and the brighter sides of life and make some mistakes but there are times I wish I had done things little different. So if I were to advice my 16 year old self these are few things that I would tell myself:

• ·         Age of 16 is one of the most beautiful phases of life. It’s a phase when one is no longer a girl neither a woman but is in between. So it’s an age to embrace the beauty of it and focus on being the best of you.
• ·         Listen to your heart. At this stage there seems to be so many confusions because there are many voices that says different things of what we are to do. Parents have their say, friends have their, teachers say something else and there are many more. It’s not easy to figure out whom to listen to but the best thing would be to take time to understand who you are and what you want to do with your life.
• ·         Respect yourself. People may look down on you because you are young but don’t let anyone look down on you. People will only respect you if you respect yourself so be respectful to yourself and earn respect.
• ·         Enjoy your friendships. Have enough time for friends and family. Have as much fun as you can with the people who genuinely love and care you.  Be careful not be addicted to anyone in particular that you forget others because the person you are prioritizing may not always stand by you. If that happens it’s not their fault because you have the right to choose and no one can impose that on you.
• ·         Everyone makes mistake so don’t beat up yourself for your mistakes. Learn from your mistakes but don’t let them haunt you down.
• ·         You are beautiful no matter what. Beauty is not just about how you look but it lies within in the unseen realm. As far as beauty is concerned there is no bad hair day, you are always beautiful so be confident and proud of who you are.

Well I wrote these for the 16 year old me but I realized that these principles do apply to me even today. I need to be reminded all these over and over again and that’s what I love about writing. It’s always there anytime we need a reminder. We all have bad days once in a while and we always need something to lighten up such days. For me it’s my work (my writings), every time I read I tell myself be proud of who I am and be grateful for the beautiful life I have been blessed with.  It makes me feel good again no matter what I am going through.

Just like I wrote 16 years old me I know I will have many more to write to the present me in future. The fact is that we don’t see  things the way we are suppose to and when we are suppose to. That does not however mean we are not capable of doing so. We just need to take time to understand ourselves and be the best that we can be and not worry about what others think of us.

We all need something to look back to and remind us who we are. 

Your today is going to be your memories tomorrow so make sure you are making good ones.

Love,

Deborah <3

Perfectly Imperfect

'Perfect'

Think about this word. It sounds good but what is perfect around us? 

 I have learned that perfect is not always real, whereas imperfect is real and beautiful if we have learned to see it the right way. When I look around carefully everything is so perfectly imperfect.  I have learned that nothing is perfect in the world we are living in but still everything is so beautiful. It tells me that, for anything to be beautiful it need not be perfect.

We  humans are always looking for things that we don’t posses irrespective of the fact that we may possess something better than what we are looking for.  Today we are all bound with an illusion to be someone that we are not. We long to be in someone else’s place no matter how good a place we are in. We tend to forget that even the ones we are longing to be like are no where near perfect. We are all very unique and we need to take pride in who we are. It’s always good to appreciate other people but it’s very unhealthy if we start longing to be just like them. If God wanted us to be like the person we are longing to be, He would have created us that way but He didn't and I believe He has a very good reason for that. 

It breaks my heart to see people comparing themselves to the other person they think are better than them and they complain about the differences but if we could ponder for a moment we would realize that the differences are what makes each one of us beautiful in our own way.  If only we could see how beautiful we are with all our imperfections we would never wish to be like anyone but ourselves. We got to understand that we are all different, some are tall while others are short, some are fair while others are dark, some are thin while others are fat, some have straight hair while others have curly hair, some have big eyes, nose etc  while others have small eyes, nose etc. Whichever category we fall in, we are beautiful in our own way and no one not even we ourselves have the right to think or say we are not beautiful. However we are, we are perfectly imperfect.

 It’s just a matter of perspective; all we need are the eyes and heart to see through the beauty within. It’s not just within ourselves that we need to see through but we need to learn to see the beauty in others too. We need to accept and appreciate people with their imperfections because we ourselves are nowhere near perfect but we are still beautiful so are the other people. 

Each one of us are perfectly imperfect just the way we are and so lets learn to accept ourselves and one another with the imperfections . Lets not try and change other people instead utilize that time to make the best of ourselves. 

Be the best you because you are beautiful irrespective of how you feel.  Once again you are perfectly imperfect :) .

With love,

Deborah <3

let go of the past and make a new beginning

Its always good to cherish the past if it helps us but the problem arises when we start behaving ineffectively because we think, “this is the way it has always been, and it will continue to be this way” .  

Our pasts may be useful, or they may hinder our progress and growth.  It all depends on how relevant they are to the present and how we look at it. The one reason why we are all so burdened with life is because we have the tendency to carry our bitter past with us all the time. Any time we hold resentment, we hurt our-self. We may seem to blame a person or situation but the fact is inwardly we are blaming our self up for being a part of that relationship or experience. All the time we keep hearing about letting go of our past and moving forward but we are so reluctant and we fail to do so.

As we live and experience things, we must recognize what belongs and what doesn’t, what works and what doesn’t, and then make the choice to let go off things that are not meant for us. Not out of pride, inability, or arrogance, but simply because not everything is supposed to fit into our life.  At certain point in life we got to close the door on the past, change the music, clean up the mess,  and start over. When we stop being who we once were ,we can become who we are meant to be today.  Letting go has nothing to do with weakness, but everything to do with strength.  We got to let go and move on with our lives not to let others  realize our worth, but because we finally realize our own worth.

Remember that nothing starts easy; everything begins at some level of difficulty. At first everything seems difficult  but one beautiful thing about life is the fact that the most difficult challenges often come out with the most rewarding and satisfying outcome in the long run. The reason we do not wanna let go is because we are fearful of the unknown, wanting to be within our comfort zone always, and not willing to put up with short-term pain for long-term gain. But lets not forget that growth begins at the end of all these. The most successful outcomes we know about never started from a place of comfort and ease. 

Don't be afraid to start over but get excited expecting  something new and better. You never know what's waiting for you on the other side of your fear and doubt.

One very personal tip on letting go: please never hate or keep any kind of grudge against anything or anyone you are letting go because to hate anything or anyone you have to keep them in your heart so you can not let go that way.

It’s time to open the next chapter of your life.

 Every day is an opportunity to begin again. Each moment is an opportunity to begin again.

Don't try and figure out all the 'whys', someday everything you have been through will make perfect sense and everything will fall into place.

with love, 

Deborah :)