Beauty of brokenness

"Our life is full of brokenness - broken relationships, broken promises, broken expectations. How can we live with that brokenness without becoming bitter and resentful except by returning again and again to God's faithful presence in our lives. " ~ Henry Nouwen

 I am sure each one of us have been through that phase of life when we were completely broken. I have been through it several times and I keep going through that process, as weird as it may sound, there is a part of me that gets excited every time I am broken. I have a love-hate kind of relationship with brokenness. I am not denying the fact that it is indeed a very painful process but I feel so close to God in my brokenness. At times I ask God to keep me broken if that's the only way I am going to be close to Him because I can not express the joy I feel in His presence.

I no longer think there is anything wrong with feeling hurt, crying, doubting, worrying and making mistakes. I wouldn't try and resist brokenness because it keeps me humble and helps me grow.  I am not trying to fix myself anymore. I have learned to accept and love myself irrespective of my brokenness, mistakes and the imperfections.

If you have never hit the rock bottom in your life you will never understand what I am talking about but if you are able to relate to me, I would like to acknowledge you for being so brave and for never giving up on life.

Only when everything falls apart you get to witness your true strength.  Every brokenness in my life has brought out the best in me and revealed to me things I never knew about myself. I never came out on the other side of my brokenness as the same old me but I always met with a better version of myself.
 I never want to stop growing and being a better version of myself so I am constantly preparing myself for the trials I may face. I don't want to be unprepared and give in when I face the difficult situations but I want to be brave enough and stand strong. 

Learn to accept and appreciate the brokenness in life and trust me you will be able to witness the true beauty of brokenness.

Yes I am broken and my brokenness is my blessing and my badge of honor!

Live beautiful and stay broken. 

I didn't know any better

One of Maya Angelou's greatest lessons to Oprah was "when You know better, You do better" and this has been one of the best lessons for me as well.

I have made many mistakes along the way be it  a small or a big one but I have come to understand that all I did yesterday was because that was the best I knew.

I have learnt not to be a prisoner to my mistakes and the guilt that comes along.  

I look back and laugh at myself for the choices I  made along the way but I have no regrets because I did what I knew best at that point of time. I am grateful for today because I realize how far I have come and how much I have grown. As I laugh at the choices I have made in the past, I realize that the future me is going to do the same at the present me. That's how I am going to know that I have grown. In the process of growing up I am not going to keep myself from experiencing life. I am going to live my life to the fullest and I know I will make many mistakes along the way but I am gonna keep doing what I know best to do at a point of time. 

I know if I write this post tomorrow it will be much better than what I am writing today because I will know better tomorrow than what i know today but I am not going to wait till tomorrow . I know I will see lot of mistakes in my post when i read it tomorrow but I am not going to try and edit it but I am just gonna let it be and laugh at it and tell my self I didn't know any better. 

Wow! it's such a relief knowing that it doesn't have to be perfect. All I got to say is "I didn't know any better." Ha ha ha ha

I am just gonna live my life today not worrying if I am going to regret about it tomorrow. If tomorrow I don't like the way I lived my life or the way I wrote this post today, I am just gonna say "Ï didn't know and better" and then move on. 

Live beautiful!!!!

I am a Work in progress

I have been learning about who I was, who I am and who I am becoming and it has occurred to me that it is not about just one part but many cycles of my life. I have come to understand that no matter who I was yesterday, life keeps taking me through an evolution that changes the definition of who I am.  I see a piece of me in all women and it feels like I have lived many lives. I have come to a point in my life where I realize that I needed every wrong decision, every wrong choice, every tear, every heartbreak and every challenge to become who I am today.  I have learned to break out of the paradigm of who I thought I was so that I don’t place limit on who I am becoming. I know I will get it wrong many a times, I will make mistakes along the way and I will be disappointed but that’s all OK because my greatest lessons in life have birth forth from the moments when I got it all wrong. I have learned that I need not pretend and put a mask to cover up my mistakes because when I am comfortable with my imperfections, I don’t judge and use someone else's mistakes as an opportunity to feel superior or better.  I have reached to a point in my life from where I can look back at all that I have gone through and see beauty in all of that.  I am constantly evolving and constantly changing.  I am not afraid of what’s on the other side of the change. I would never restrict myself to one definition of who I am because I am a work in progress.

I don’t have all the answers and I haven’t figured it all out yet. I will never have all the answers but that’s perfectly OK with me.  I admit that I am a work in progress and I am proud of that because the work is excellent. I don’t need to figure it all out, I am just going to enjoy the process and not worry about the finish product because I am pretty confident the finish product will be beautiful.

keep growing and stay beautiful!