Dawn will come

Harriet Beecher Stowe said, "When you get into a tight place and everything goes against you, till it seems as though you could not hang on a minute longer, never give up then, for that is just the place and time that the tide will turn."

How is life?
You must be feeling like you are consumed by some kind of darkness in your life at this moment and there must be so much uncertainty you are surrounded with but my friend I would like to remind you to please hold on for sometime. This maybe the moment when the tide will turn and if you are to give up you will never know what's on the other side. If you need someone to talk to do so, if you need some motivation get it from some good source, if you need to cry shed some tears but believe that you are strong enough to get through this. Tell yourself that you are exactly where you are suppose to be in your life. Don't be intimidated by the darkness you see around and also know that it is always the darkest before the dawn. The dawn is almost here so gather up all your inner strength and keep holding on to whatever it is that you have worked on this long. 

The reason you see the intense darkness around you is because you are about to see the light and only if you have the experience of the darkness you will be able to appreciate the beauty of light. This is not a punishment to you but a blessing in disguise for you. 

Be proud of yourself for coming this far. Pat yourself on the back and tell yourself that you are proud of you. You deserve to be appreciated for making it this far. While you are holding on prepare yourself to face the light.
Are you confident that you will be able to handle the light when you have to face it? Do you think it is taking so long for the dawn to reach you because you are not fully prepared to face the light yet? If so then do something about it, get to know yourself better and figure out what is it that you need to work on. Are you sure you are not simply wasting your time feeling sorry for yourself and complaining instead of preparing yourself?

In the words of Tony Robbins, "The secret of success is learning how to use pain and pleasure instead of having pain and pleasure use you. If you do that you are in control of your life. If you don't, life controls you."

Don't let your dark moments and the pain make you bitter, negative or discouraged. If you keep holding onto the pains of life you are only going to suffer. Instead let your pain be a catalyst to push you ahead and make you stronger. I don't know what will help you to deal with pain but as for me whenever I am in doubt and in my down moments I either pray, exercise , breath or try and be grateful for all the good things in life. To be grateful you need not think of all the fancy things in life, pause for a moment feel your breath and be grateful that you still got breath inside of you. The reason that you are still breathing is a reason good enough to not give up. 

The darkness can last only for so long and it is natural for the dawn to show up after the darkness. This is a gentle reminder for you to not give up, whatever it is that you are going through.

Stay strong and live beautiful!!!

My Capsule Wardrobe

This week we had four days of holiday and I got some time to work on my closet. Winter is almost here and so I was changing my wardrobe into a winter wardrobe. In the past I have had to spend the whole day or two days to work on my closet but this time it did not take me more than 2 hours to be done with rearranging my wardrobe. I was amazed at how simple my life has become at least in one area and so I couldn't help but share my experience.

          

                    If you would like to know how this change happened please keep reading.

There has been so much buzz of the concept of capsule wardrobe recently and I really wanted to try it out myself. The concept of capsule wardrobe has been around for about more than four decades now and this concept was introduced by Susie Faux, founder of  "Wardrobe" (the boutique) in 1970s. Capsule wardrobe is defined as a collection of an individual's wardrobe essentials that don't go out of fashion. 

For me it was first sight love with the concept of capsule wardrobe.  I fell in love with the concept the very moment I came to know about it. 

How many of us ladies can relate to the wardrobe meltdowns, when you have closet full of clothes but nothing appropriate to wear. Sounds familiar? well I have been there so I hear you. 

I have passed that phase and since I have made up my mind to live a minimalist kind of lifestyle, the very first thing I started with was my wardrobe. Now I have about 30 to 40 pieces of clothes as a part of my capsule wardrobe and I don't face the wardrobe meltdown situations. I always have something to wear and it saves so much time. I can get ready within no time now. I love the feeling of owning less and being happy about it.

I am in no way saying that I have a perfect wardrobe and I am not 100% sure if I am in love with everything in my closet yet but it is a work in progress. As long as the progress is happening no matter how small, I am happy. I have learned that in life be it in any area, it's never about the finish line but the process. I am however very much in love with the journey I am on with building my capsule wardrobe.  Someday I definitely wish to own only those pieces that I absolutely love but for now I am proud of myself for coming this far. 

In the past my wardrobe was filled with cheap clothes and when I needed something to wear I would find nothing. I have learned to go for quality over quantity. I don't mean that now I only own expensive clothes but yes now when I go and buy clothes I make sure that I don't compromise with the quality.

I don't know what stage of life you are in and maybe you are thinking that you will not be able to afford to get rid of all your clothes and think over. I get that and have been there. Now, I know that if only I would have tried not to fit in but be myself I would have been able to do so long time back even when I was a student. It is so common that when we are very young we keep trying to fit in thinking that is what's "cool" but the truth is standing out is "cool". If I could advice my younger self , I would tell her how beautiful and perfectly imperfect she is and that she need not try and fit in but stand out being who she is. 

Stay Chic, Stay beautiful.

Letter to a daughter

Daughters are like flowers, the more you take care the more beautiful they grow. 

 If I had a daughter this is the letter I would want her to read and I am sure all our mothers would like us to know these things. Our mothers may not have framed the sentences in these exact words but I am sure they do want us to know these things. I am obviously not a mother and not even close to becoming one but if I ever have a daughter I would want her to grow up to be a woman with strength, grace and standard. It is also a reminder to myself and all the daughters out there. This letter is dedicated to all the daughters including myself (all women).
_________________________________________________________________________________

My dear daughter (all the daughters),

You are a beautiful angel and God's gift to me and the world. Welcome to the beautiful world and hats off to you for being born as a girl child.  You are a piece of my heart and so it is not going to be easy for me to let you face the reality of the world. Though the world is a beautiful place and life is so very interesting but you are going to get knocked down several times until you learn to see the beauty of being knocked down. So please hear me out and remember some of these words when you face difficult situations.

Life is going to hit you hard and not just once but time and again. When you get hit don't misunderstand it as life's way of punishing you but it is how life teach lessons. It's not just you, everyone has to walk through that path from time to time. The only difference is that some of us have learned the lessons and it has become little easier for us now. You will get there.

You are going to have bruised knee, pimple marks and broken heart but that's all normal so don't you dare pause your life for anything or anyone. Sooner or later you are going to know that the superman, the superwoman or the prince charming ain't coming to rescue you. You got to be your own rescue. No matter how tall or wise you grow, your beautiful hands or your beautiful mind will never grow enough to heal all your pains. So get to know God personally because only with His strength you will be able to make it to the next level.

My dear baby girl I know you are going to wander sometimes in search of true love and before you find the right person you are going to get your heart broken. You may get your heart broken once, twice or may be several times but don't you dare give up on love. Don't ever get bitter towards anyone even when your heart is broken into thousand pieces. Trust me I wouldn't have said this if I had not gotten my heart broken but I did. However, I learned to rise up and start looking at my broken heart as one of the best blessings of my life. You may not want to believe this when you get your heart broken but please keep living and you will see that I am right.When you get your heart broken I would like you to know that I am right here for you with all the chocolates you need till you exhaust your tears. 

However, also know this that once you have cried out your tears, you got to get back up on your two feet even if your feet feel feeble. Trust me you will have to walk some distance before you get back the strength on your feet. So don't you dare wait for the strength to come looking for you because strength is strange that way. It only walks toward those who walk towards it. Every time you are knocked down if you make it a habit of walking back towards the strength, trust me very soon strength will start walking towards you anytime you are in need. 

Never spend your life with someone who doesn't respect and celebrate you. Be grateful that you are born in this generation and take full advantage of it. You are of the generation which doesn't necessarily pressurize  you to share your life with just anyone. If you never find the person for whom your heart beats and someone who you would want to share your life with, then, please know this that "IT IS OK TO STAY SINGLE FOREVER" if you choose to. Whether you choose to get married or stay single, do so on your own terms. However you choose to live your life is up to you. Don't let anyone tell you what you should do with your life, not even me.

My dear baby girl you don't have to pretend to be strong when you feel weak. All strong people feel weak but they never give up. If the pain is too severe for the chocolates to heal then you will always have the rain to cry with you if no one else. Go out in the rain and cry all your tears and let the sky cry with you. If not the rain then there will always be some other way. You will have to make a way and see what works for you. We are all very unique and so what works for me may not work for you but there is always something that works for us individually. It's your quest to figure out what's that magic for you.

Be your own self. You need not try and be like anyone else other than you. If you try and be like someone else you are always going to fail but you will make an excellent "You". Just do you. Be it make up, fashion, style or self image, personalize and know who you are. Just because something looks good on some "influential  figure" doesn't mean you have to try and copy them. Take off the pressure to be like someone else. Your goal should always be to be the best version of you. Take good care of yourself, be it your skin, health, beauty, heart or dream. Always remember that you are your only competition.

When things doesn't go your way and life doesn't make sense, still keep believing in the beauty of life. No matter how steep a mountain you might have to climb, don't you dare give up, trust me the view from the mountain top will be worth the climb. Don't be afraid to stick your tongue out to get the taste of life, you may not always like how it tastes but you got to be familiar with the different tastes of life. So take risk and gain the experiences.

People will tell you all sorts of things and will try to caution you but before you take any opinion,  take time to know yourself and your creator. If you take time to listen to the creator you will always find an answer to your questions, so take time to listen.  Also remember when you pray God will always answer. At times God's answer will be "NO", so then you got to know that He has something better for you. Never stop believing that you were created with a beautiful purpose and never settle for a mediocre life. 

My beautiful baby girl always remember that I did not bring you into this world so that you just make it through life,but you were born to be a warrior and do life justice. Don't ever stop growing and learning. You deserve to live a beautiful life but you got to survive through the difficult times and not give up. 

My sweet little girl, live life in humility always. Always apologies when you have done something wrong but don't you dare be sorry or guilty for speaking the truth, doing the right thing, for refusing to settle for a mediocre life, for the way your beautiful eyes sparkle , for the passion you carry inside of you and above all for your faith.   

You may never feel fully prepared or ready but do show up.  Take as many risks as early in life as possible. There are going to be few or many failures but  better fail than never try. As long as you are trying you are already ahead of those who aren't doing so. You are the youngest you can be at this moment. From this moment on you are only going to get older so no matter how old or young you are, this is the right time to start. You definitely haven't figured it all out yet, but who has?  Don't beat yourself up for that, you will never figure out everything and that's perfectly OK.

This is definitely not everything I would want you know there are many more. No single person will be able to teach you all the lessons of life, so learn from everyone you come across. Every person you meet will have something to teach you if only you stay sensitive. You are exactly where you are suppose to be at this point in life. As you go through life you are going to learn so much more and I hope to get some wise advice from you. I am growing and learning too so I hope to give you better advice in future when I know better.

For now this is all I have to say. Stay blessed and beautiful.

Love,
Mom (all the moms). 

A small message to all my womenfolks

Be whoever you want to be

The social media generation has put everyone under so much pressure and I can see so many people trying to match up to the "standards" set by the world which is so confused on its own.
 It breaks my heart to see all the people losing their ability to see the inner beauty and the strength within. I wish I could let them see their true worth and let them understand that they are worthy and beautiful for no other reason but just because they are who they are. 

This is my message to all my beautiful girls who are worthy and beautiful just because they are who they are.

My dear girls,

This one is for you all.

Always remember that You are not just a face,  a body, the weight on the scale, the shoes you wear, the makeups you put on, or the number of followers on your social media accounts. Your worth is not dependent on who your friends are, who you date, who you will marry, what positions you will hold  , the number in  your bank account  or the numbers on the  scorecard.
None of these determine your worth.

You need not try and be any more thinner, taller, prettier, louder, quieter, or anything else apart from who you want to be and who you already are.  Yes, always keep working on being a better version of yourself but don't you dare waste your time trying to make your body, thoughts, or voice match up to the "standards" set by the world.

You are beautiful and just the fact that you exist is the proof that you are worthy and that you belong.

Don't waste your time trying to be popular and trying be liked instead take that time to take care of yourselves and to discover the real you.

Spend your time building a strong body, a brilliant mind, and a kind heart.

Let the world see the real you, the beautiful you, the wise you, the smart you, the kind you, and the unique you.

You are never too much or too less  but you are always enough (never ever forget that). 

When I look at you girls, I see beauty, love, hope, joy, peace and so much potential for a better world. 

 At times, You are going  feel like you are not enough and that you are a mess.  That's okay! Show up anyway. 

Yes, You are going to  to fall, fail, get your hearts broken and mess up along the way but you have the power to always get back up and move on. 

You have so much beauty and potential within  and the world needs that.  

Just Look at each other and see how unique and beautiful each one of you  are. You are not each other's competition instead you are each others' support system. I have seen you all laugh, cry and grow together. It's so  beautiful to see you all celebrate, standby and genuinely be happy for each other.

 Now that you are all stepping out into the world I can't wait to see what each one of you will accomplish.  I will be cheering for you all  always. Remember that it's going to take some time, so don't get discouraged when things don't turn out according to your timetable. Just keep moving forward and keeping believing that you matter and that anything is possible. All you need is the willingness to work for it. The world needs that gift and beauty inside of you to shine. 

Let your beautiful colors shine always. 

Love,

Tshering Lhamo Dukpa

"Me Too"

I don't like to just sit and talk about problems of life and I know many of you don't either, but when people are hurting, I would at least want to be able to understand what they are going through. When I encounter people who are hurting I wish if only I could just say "ME TOO"( meaning that I have been through that situation and I know exactly how you are feeling) if nothing else. 

I would like to know how it feels like being rejected, broken, betrayed, hurt, messed up, failed, disappointed, vulnerable etc. I have noticed that when I know someone is going through what I have been through I tend to be more empathetic and not judgmental towards their action. However, that's not always the case with people who are going through issues I have never come across. To them I can't say "ME TOO" even if I want to because I know no matter how much I pretend to I will never be able to understand what they are going through exactly.  
Obviously none of us like it when we are going through any of these situations but once we are through it we always see life from a very different perspective. 

Anytime I am able to say "ME TOO" are the moments when I am grateful for all difficult times in my life. That's the beauty of experiences that are not so beautiful.  

Whenever I am going through that phase in life when I need someone to just be there for me, I would prefer someone who can say "ME TOO" to my situation because that person would exactly understand my pain.  I would rather not have any one around than have people who wouldn't be able to relate to my pain. 

For most of my life I have been a pretty positive kind of person but there have been times in my life when I have not been able to practice what I know. One thing I have noticed is that, any time I am going through the difficult phase of life, my common sense is the first one to leave me alone. I somehow tend to make wrong decisions and give in to the heat of the moment. And every time I come out of  those catastrophic situations I tell myself I am going to do things differently next time but I don't always make right decision when next time comes around. I Know many of you do the same so yes "ME TOO".

Yes! I am guilty of making the same mistake twice, thrice or most of the the time more often .

I don't think that the catastrophes that we go through in life have to be the devastation but those incidences can be the best experiences if only we can learn to see the hidden lessons. Just because I am writing about it doesn't mean I can always see the beauty in every situation but yes I do with all my heart believe that there is something good in every bad. One of those goods is of course being able to say "ME TOO".

So whatever you are going through in your life just be present in that moment and try and see what life is trying to teach you. Do not miss out on the experiences life is giving you. You do not want to be missing out on the "ME TOO" moments.

Take every circumstance in life as a beautiful experience and live beautiful!!!

Being a minimalist

Minimalism is becoming a huge trend and there are many great testimonies from people who have made this lifestyle change. I am in love with the concept and have been trying to practice it myself.  I have started my journey of being a minimalist.  I am in love with this process of being a minimalist and so I am writing about it a bit. 

For those of you who are not familiar with the concept of minimalism, though there are many definitions, but the one I like the most is that 'it is all about simplifying your life'. By simplifying I mean decluttering the stuffs from your life that doesn't serve the purpose anymore. It is about being aware and mindful of the choices that you make in what you keep in your life and what you let go. Once the space starts getting cleared out, life becomes so much more simple. It is just an idea and a concept, so there is no guidelines as such to follow. You can just practice the parts of minimalism that you resonate to and  anything that doesn't make sense to you can be left out. There is no obligation as such to follow the rules. It is more about the mindset than the quantity of stuffs. 

It's not about getting rid of all the stuffs but letting go of things or people that weigh you down. Now that I am getting familiar with the concept of minimalism I am made aware of the fact that in certain areas of my life I have always been a minimalist but in other areas I was completely the opposite. 

Growing up I remember I always had very less friends. I am pretty protective when it comes to my inner circle and till date I can very easily count the number of people in my inner circle. I can be somehow defined as a nerd. I have to admit that I seem to enjoy the company of books more than the company of people many a times. To me it does not matter how many people I have in my life but who are the people I call my friends. I know everyone is not the same and everyone need not be the same but this is who I am. 

 I have never been a minimalist when it comes to stuffs though. I owned way too many stuffs and I wasn't even aware of it until recently when I started decluttering my stuffs. Since I started decluttering my stuffs, clothes specifically, I am in a much happier place and I love the feeling of owning less. I don't even get the urge to shop every now and then any more. 

I am not saying that everyone should practice minimalism. It may not work for everyone but it really works well for me. Since I started on this journey of being a minimalist  my life is so less complicated and manageable. 

If you think minimalism is something that interest you then keep visiting my blog because I will be writing more on this topic. If you would like to learn the art of decluttering I would recommend the book 'The life changing Magic of tidying up ', the Japanese art of decluttering and organizing by Marie Kondo. That book completely changed my life. 

You don't have to try and compare your journey to anyone else's . The most important thing about minimalism I think is just being more mindful about your choices in any area of your life. There should be no judgement or comparison of your journey with anyone else's. 

Keep it simple and live beautiful!

KNOW YOUR WORTH

KNOW YOUR WORTH

Recently I was in a conversation with a beautiful young lady. She was heartbroken and mentioned to me about the guy who she is love with but he seem to be pulling away from her. She said, “he used to love me but now may be I am not pretty enough for him anymore“. I could completely relate to her because I have been through that stage but still it broke my heart that she couldn’t see the beauty in herself. I know for sure that somewhere down the line she is going to look back and be grateful to that guy for pulling away but for the stage she was in I just wanted to remind her of her worth.

As I was talking to her, I realized that there are many young people (boys and girls) who struggle with this issue and so I wanted to put these words down in writing so that this message will reach few more people.

Many of us base our worth on how someone else perceives us. I am guilty of doing that myself but I have learned my lesson and I would want few more people to know this. There is a great danger when we get into a relationship without first knowing our worth.

I have been happily single for a very long time now and I have never before felt this beautiful, confident and worthy as I do now. I have learned that I don’t need someone else to tell me how beautiful I am or what I am worth. I just know that deep within.  

I am single not because there are no good guys out there or I can’t find a guy. There are many great guys and from time to time there have been guys who liked me and I am always grateful to them but I don’t base my value on whether someone likes me or not. It’s not just about guys, I have reached a stage in my life where it does not matter much to me whether someone likes me or not. And FYI, someone liking you isn’t a reason good enough to be in relationship with, at least for me. I know my worth very well so I know that I deserve someone who will not just like me but love me and pursue me.  

Do yourself a favor and never wait on anyone be it a guy, a girl, a friend, a family member or anyone for that matter to validate your worth. Take some time to understand yourself and know your worth. That will be the best favor you will do for yourself. If someone does not like you, then praise God and wave them goodbye but without any bitterness (that's very important). I have done that several times in my life and I have always been better off waving goodbye to certain people.

You may not be like me and that’s perfectly OK, you just do the things that will work for you and make you happy. I have very limited number of people in my life and I like it that way but you may not like that. People often tell me that I am arrogant and that my standards are too high and unreasonable and so I may end up single forever. My response to them is always the same, “I will be happily single forever if I don’t find someone who loves me that way”. I have no plan of settling for anything less than what I deserve. If you are not like me and you think you can not be happy if you are not in a relationship then I am not the person who you should be listening to because I am always going to say that you can chose to be happy whether or not you are in a relationship.

Whether you agree with me or not is completely your choice but one thing you got agree with me is that before you get into any kind of relationship you GOT to KNOW YOUR WORTH . If you do not know your worth, you are going to base your worth on what someone else tells you. Trust me you do not want to base your value to someone else's  judgment of who you are. No one knows you better than you know yourself. So you alone get to make the judgment of who you are.

You are a beautiful person and so never let your circumstance or any person determine who you are and where you are going. 

KNOW YOUR WORTH always and stay beautiful!

You are stronger than you know

Are you hurting? 

Well you are not alone!

Does it hurt really bad? 

Cry! But then get back up once you are done crying and get back in the game (whatever it is).
Don't waste your pain but reward yourself for the hurt by getting to the next level.
Every time I am hurt I make it a point to shift myself to a higher level than I was before the pain happened. I no longer play a pity party every time I experience pain but take it as an opportunity to grow. 

What you are made up of is not judged by how well you celebrate the good times but by how well you handle your bad days. 

No matter how painful the pain, how great the set back, how bad the failure  or how great the loss, feel the pain but don't give up. 

 Don't judge your future based on what's going on in your life right now. Whatever you are going through has not come to stay but to test you and pass by. Have an attitude that says no matter how tough it gets or how much it hurts I am going to pass the test.  Don't let the cloudy days and the storms intimidate you.

The storm in your life right now is trying to teach you something very important but  you are so busy being mad and feeling sorry for yourself that you are about to miss out the hidden blessings.

What if you let few people walk away and you wave them good bye when they leave instead of hanging onto the memory of who you wanted someone to be?
Trust me it will all be worth it. You are going to look back on things you are crying about and be grateful that you went through it all.

You are so much stronger than you know but how are you going to figure that out unless you are tested by the challenges.
Trust me when this storm in your life is over and if you do not give up, you are going to find yourself in next level (much higher).
The very reason many of us get stuck at one point in life is because of our feelings and emotions that is filled with bitterness toward the world. When we are bitter it mostly hinders our growth.

The pain that used to bug me yesterday doesn't affect me anymore because I made it a point to learn my lessons instead of whining over the pain.
I have learned that it is always darkest  before the dawn so when you think you can no more tolerate the pain just hang in there a little longer because you never know how close you are to the light.

Don't stop fighting as long as you  have life to live. You got to have a vision that pulls you because the pull is what helps you go long way.
All the people I know who are(were) great and are doing (did) great things, the ones I have seen, read about and heard of are (were) the ones who despite the pain walked that extra mile when the others gave up.

When it hurts keep going because the very fact that it's hurting is because you are going to the next level. There is always another level so you got push yourself and raise the bar. Whenever you are tempted to give up remember that in that very moment you are writing your legacy. The key is believing in yourself when no one believes in you and your abilities.

Get out of the comfort zone and be tough. Use your pain as the fuel to drive you to your success and to better version of you.

Keep up the good fight!
 Live beautiful!

The lesson my wounded fingers taught me

Last Wednesday was a holiday for me and I was home. I wanted to make myself a glass of lemonade so I went to the kitchen and as I was trying to cut the lemon in two halves  I cut my index finger and middle finger instead. The cut was pretty deep, my fingers started bleeding real bad and the pain was quite severe. I was mad at myself for not being able to cut just a lemon without hurting myself. As I ran to get some antiseptic and band-aid I was cursing myself for being so clumsy.

Suddenly I realized that I was being so harsh on myself, it was as if my wounded fingers were trying to tell me that instead of getting mad I should be taking care of my fingers at this moment.  I immediately stopped for a moment and pondered upon it. I then apologized my fingers for hurting and as soon as I did that the pain somehow started subsiding. 

 In that moment I became mindful of the way I was treating myself for every mistake. As I was thinking about it, I went into the flash back, to all those times when I failed, got my heart broken,  made wrong choices , etc. I am very good at forgiving others but when it comes forgiving myself I I have not been able to do the same.

 I had to understand that every mistake I made along the way was based on the best of my knowledge and circumstances at that point and time. My intention was always right but I lacked the knowledge. I have talked about this is in one of my previous posts titled 'I didn't know any better'.

We all grow with time so we got to learn to be patient and gentle with ourselves. Being patient and gentle doesn't mean you just sit and suffer, but it means that you carry your hurt with grace without waiting to be pulled out of it. If you are just sitting with pain and waiting to be pulled out, then there is a danger that you may end up playing the blame game. I have learned to take complete responsibility for my life. Whatever I went through in my life I have no one to blame, not even myself, but I believe I needed every challenges, failures, heartbreaks and difficulties to be the person I am today.
I believe so strongly that,  'whatever happens in life doesn't happen to us but happens for us'.

I also believe that each one of us is better and stronger than we think.

Life has thrown many tests in each of our lives in the form of challenges, hurt, betrayal, discouragement or disappointments but the very fact that we are still breathing and living our lives in itself is a proof that we are not defeated. We are the victors and not the victims.We got to stop feeling sorry for ourselves and start being proud instead.
We all have made many mistakes along the the way but life changes every single second so we can start over with a new beginning any time.  It's all about shifting focus and understanding that we are exactly where we need to be in our life right now.

Life is a beautiful journey but it's not always easy. We go through difficult situations in life so that we grow and understand ourselves better. When we understand ourselves better we find the strength to grow up into a more stronger, confident and better humans.

Our capacity to love others and ourselves is defined by how much we have healed our past hurts, forgiven others and ourselves, and let our hearts expand to hold love. If we accumulate all of our past hurts, our capacity to love shrinks.

So the lesson my wounded fingers taught me was that I got to love, forgive and accept myself not only others because living a beautiful life without being able to do so is impossible. I hope we all learn to love, forgive and accept ourselves wherever we are in life.

Live beautiful!!!

Keep the dream alive

I like the the fact that faith is believing in what you don't see and it sounds so very true. Many people  changed the world because they saw the world differently, way before any one could.  There are many great people who inspire me to keep my dream alive, one of them is Martin Luther King Jr.  

Martin Luther King Jr. was a Civil Rights Leader who was best known for his non-violent ways and fought for equality. Though slavery was made illegal in the United States but life was very difficult  for the black Americans in those days.

 In Martin Luther King Jr.'s most memorable speech, 'I have a dream', he expresses his dream where people will not be judged by the color of their skin, but by the content of their character and that was back in the days when it seemed almost impossible that his dream would come true. He saw and believed way before anyone could see what he was dreaming of. Today it is nothing unusual, he saw years into the future. He didn't even live to see his dream come true but no one can take away his contribution to the world. We know how great a man he was and though it's been almost 50 years since he has left the earth but he has not been forgotten by the world. 

For sure it didn't always go well with him but he never gave up on his dream.
He ended up in prison, 

some people didn't like him , he was jailed over 20 times, he was stabbed , his house was bombed, he was threatened very often and most of his days were hard but he never gave up fighting for equality. 

Yes he was shot but he died a hero and lived a life worth remembering for generations to come. His accomplishments are known world wide today. A bullet couldn't stop his message or his dream to come true. 

His 'mountaintop speech' which was his last speech was filled with words of a true hero and it goes like this,

"Well I don't know what will happen now. But I am not concerned about that now. I just want to do God's will. He's allowed me to go to the mountain. And I've looked over. And I've seen the Promised Land. I may not get there with you. But I want you to know tonight, that we, as a people, will get to the Promised Land! 

And I am so happy, tonight.

I am not worried about anything

I am not fearing any man!

Mine eyes have seen the Glory of the coming of the Lord!!!"

You and I may not have a dream as big as Martin Luther King Jr.'s  but whatever our dreams may be we got to keep them alive. We may not be able to see our dreams come true any time soon but that doesn't mean we give up.
If only we can say "I have seen the promised Land" when we come to the end of our lives, I believe we can leave the earth in peace knowing we did our part and did not waste our life in vain. 

So what's your dream?
Whatever it may be, irrespective of how big or small I hope you keep it alive and not let it die specially when you are most tempted to give up. Remember that everybody who has ever been great had an option to give up several times and faced many obstacles along the way. It is not easy to keep going when the going gets tough so we got to have enough faith to see into the future.

Although it maybe painful and tiring, you may feel like quitting because you don't see any progress but  keep pushing forward believing that you are going to see your dream come true somewhere down the line. If you give up and let your dream die you are not going see the beauty of your dream come true. You got to be able to see something you are not before you can be it. Wherever you are in your life is temporary, you are not going stay there forever.

You got to do what you were born to do because it's who you are. You are going to get knocked down every now and then but don't you dare give up, get back up, continue to keep up the good fight and keep your dream alive. It will all be worth at the end.

Keep your dream alive!!

Are you using your time to learn?

Steve Jobs was terminally ill and he was going to die when he spoke at Stanford University to the graduating students. He said to the students "Your time is limited so don't waste it living someone else's life". 

How are you living your life today? Are you making good use of your time? 

I wish I would have known what I am writing today when I was much younger but never the less I am grateful I know it now. 

I wish I would have utilized my time more productively. I see people disappearing from the phase of earth just like that. We recently lost a great man Muhammad Ali and like all the people who leave, we all will have to leave some day or the other. Life is too short and so we don't have eternity on earth to take all the time we want to learn. 

Just imagine how would your life be if you could learn things much faster than an average person. An average person has to make the same mistake at least 10 times to learn the lesson from the mistake, what if you could learn your lesson the first time? An average person takes years to quit smoking, what if you you could quit right away? The average person struggles with their weight their whole life, what if you could learn to lose weight right away?

I know it is going to bring amazing results and there are ways to learn to do everything. All we got to do is try and find the answer for every how. We might die without knowing the answers to the
 simple 'hows' and the worst thing would be if we never bothered to find the answers. 

To quote from the Bible, Hosea 4:6 says, "My people are destroyed for lack of knowledge". Many of us make wrong choices and decisions because we do not know any better.  We do what we know is the best but what if what we know is not the best? 

For most of the history people thought that the world was flat, smart people like Socrates, Plato, Aristotle lived their whole life not knowing that the earth is round, but you and I discovered the that fact by time we were 6 or 7 years of age or maybe even younger. 

We are living at the right time and everything that we need is within our reach, it's just the matter of learning to get them. You may ultimately learn the little secrets of life and you are definitely going to live a better life once you start learning the secrets. I don't know about you but I don't want to be 70 years of age and then be wise, smart or happy, I want to be all these while I am still young because what if I don't get to live that long. 

The person who is able to learn quickly is always ahead.

So how do we learn then? To be a learner we got to be humble because without true humility it is impossible to get to the truth. I like to take every opportunity to learn. Learn from everyone and every moment. Don't let go of anything or any person without getting a lesson from them. 

What are you doing to learn?
Do you know that there are answers for most of your questions?
Are you listening to the wise and the experts who have figured out the answers to your questions?

I definitely don't want to waste my time trying to figure out if the earth is really round but I am going to trust the experts on that. 

Issac Newton once said , "If I have seen further it is only by standing on the shoulders of giants." So are you standing on the shoulders of giants? If not You better start. We are living in a generation when it is not so difficult to find mentors and learn from the experts. I am taking full advantage of the modern facilities, reading from the best sources, listening to the best, looking up to people who are way ahead of me. 

I try not to worry about making mistakes because I learn from the mistakes, but  I don't have time to make all the mistakes and then learn, so I would rather learn from the mistakes of others. So I take every opportunity to learn from peoples' mistakes not just mine. 

From what I have learned, we can get out of a relationship not worth staying right away, we can let go of toxic people right away and we can stop making unhealthy choices right away. Our lives are the cumulative effect of every decision we make and so we got to learn to make good decisions. The good decisions can only be made if we have good knowledge and so we got to take every opportunity to gain good knowledge/information.

Shun the arrogance and learn,  you are going to end up happier and more satisfied. Be humble and be smart at the right time. What are you waiting for? Start learning whatever it is you are trying to learn. Remember your time is limited so you can not afford to waste it.

"The beautiful thing about learning is no body can take it away from you." ~B.B King

Begin now !!!
Live Beautiful!!!

Perfect fit at the right season

 On this journey of life I have learned many great lessons and one lesson I am really grateful for in particular is learning to let go. I have learned that every time I am stepping into a new season I have to let go of certain things and some people from my life. I am grateful for each and every person and situation that crossed my way but I am also grateful that they left at the right time making space for the new ones. There was a time when it used to bother me every time I had to let go of people who I really loved but now I have come to understand that it's not a bad thing after all. I am especially grateful for those who walked with me some distance and then made an exit at the RIGHT time. 

Recently I was rearranging my clothes from my wardrobe. I had so many clothes many of which I don't wear anymore because they don't fit my current style. My wardrobe was pretty messy and it didn't look good at all. So I finally decided to rearrange and I found so many clothes that I wouldn't wear anymore. There was time when those clothes were perfect for me but I have grown and my taste in clothes have changed with time. I was however keeping them lying there in the wardrobe hoping that I might wear them someday. I didn't even realize that I had no space for the clothes that fit my current taste because the space was all occupied by clothes that doesn't fit my taste any more.  So I had to dispose of more than 60% of my wardrobe  and now it is much easier for me to find a comfortable wear.  

Like me most of us have this tendency of keeping things and people even when their part in our life is over. It's very important to clear up the mess in our life every now and then, be it people or stuffs. The people who walked with you yesterday may not be able to walk with you today and if you do not let go then just like my wardrobe someday suddenly you will realize that all the people you have been trying to drag along are nothing but mess. They are going to occupy all the space that there will be no space for those who fit in your life in this new season. 

Just like I can't be mad at clothes that doesn't fit me anymore, I can't be mad at people who doesn't fit into my life in this new season. I have to understand that there was a time when they did fit in perfectly and be grateful to them for that but in this new season it's wise to let go.  I have had many people (people I really loved) who left me and some I had to leave. To be honest it was never easy, it did hurt but when I look back today I am grateful that some left on their own and some I had the strength to leave. Today I have no complaints against those who left me and also no regrets that I was the one to leave some. I am grateful for each and every person who came into my life, taught me some important lessons and then left at the right time.  

Steve Jobs was so right in saying, "You can't connect the dots looking forward you can only connect them looking backwards."

Just because people leave doesn't mean they are bad people, it just means their part in your story is over and so you got to move on to the next part without them.  If someone was meant for you they would have been with you and if they are not then you got to understand they are not meant for you in this new season.   Let go and wait for the next best thing that is about happen in your life.

 Live beautiful!!!!!

Beauty of brokenness

"Our life is full of brokenness - broken relationships, broken promises, broken expectations. How can we live with that brokenness without becoming bitter and resentful except by returning again and again to God's faithful presence in our lives. " ~ Henry Nouwen

 I am sure each one of us have been through that phase of life when we were completely broken. I have been through it several times and I keep going through that process, as weird as it may sound, there is a part of me that gets excited every time I am broken. I have a love-hate kind of relationship with brokenness. I am not denying the fact that it is indeed a very painful process but I feel so close to God in my brokenness. At times I ask God to keep me broken if that's the only way I am going to be close to Him because I can not express the joy I feel in His presence.

I no longer think there is anything wrong with feeling hurt, crying, doubting, worrying and making mistakes. I wouldn't try and resist brokenness because it keeps me humble and helps me grow.  I am not trying to fix myself anymore. I have learned to accept and love myself irrespective of my brokenness, mistakes and the imperfections.

If you have never hit the rock bottom in your life you will never understand what I am talking about but if you are able to relate to me, I would like to acknowledge you for being so brave and for never giving up on life.

Only when everything falls apart you get to witness your true strength.  Every brokenness in my life has brought out the best in me and revealed to me things I never knew about myself. I never came out on the other side of my brokenness as the same old me but I always met with a better version of myself.
 I never want to stop growing and being a better version of myself so I am constantly preparing myself for the trials I may face. I don't want to be unprepared and give in when I face the difficult situations but I want to be brave enough and stand strong. 

Learn to accept and appreciate the brokenness in life and trust me you will be able to witness the true beauty of brokenness.

Yes I am broken and my brokenness is my blessing and my badge of honor!

Live beautiful and stay broken. 

I didn't know any better

One of Maya Angelou's greatest lessons to Oprah was "when You know better, You do better" and this has been one of the best lessons for me as well.

I have made many mistakes along the way be it  a small or a big one but I have come to understand that all I did yesterday was because that was the best I knew.

I have learnt not to be a prisoner to my mistakes and the guilt that comes along.  

I look back and laugh at myself for the choices I  made along the way but I have no regrets because I did what I knew best at that point of time. I am grateful for today because I realize how far I have come and how much I have grown. As I laugh at the choices I have made in the past, I realize that the future me is going to do the same at the present me. That's how I am going to know that I have grown. In the process of growing up I am not going to keep myself from experiencing life. I am going to live my life to the fullest and I know I will make many mistakes along the way but I am gonna keep doing what I know best to do at a point of time. 

I know if I write this post tomorrow it will be much better than what I am writing today because I will know better tomorrow than what i know today but I am not going to wait till tomorrow . I know I will see lot of mistakes in my post when i read it tomorrow but I am not going to try and edit it but I am just gonna let it be and laugh at it and tell my self I didn't know any better. 

Wow! it's such a relief knowing that it doesn't have to be perfect. All I got to say is "I didn't know any better." Ha ha ha ha

I am just gonna live my life today not worrying if I am going to regret about it tomorrow. If tomorrow I don't like the way I lived my life or the way I wrote this post today, I am just gonna say "Ï didn't know and better" and then move on. 

Live beautiful!!!!

I am a Work in progress

I have been learning about who I was, who I am and who I am becoming and it has occurred to me that it is not about just one part but many cycles of my life. I have come to understand that no matter who I was yesterday, life keeps taking me through an evolution that changes the definition of who I am.  I see a piece of me in all women and it feels like I have lived many lives. I have come to a point in my life where I realize that I needed every wrong decision, every wrong choice, every tear, every heartbreak and every challenge to become who I am today.  I have learned to break out of the paradigm of who I thought I was so that I don’t place limit on who I am becoming. I know I will get it wrong many a times, I will make mistakes along the way and I will be disappointed but that’s all OK because my greatest lessons in life have birth forth from the moments when I got it all wrong. I have learned that I need not pretend and put a mask to cover up my mistakes because when I am comfortable with my imperfections, I don’t judge and use someone else's mistakes as an opportunity to feel superior or better.  I have reached to a point in my life from where I can look back at all that I have gone through and see beauty in all of that.  I am constantly evolving and constantly changing.  I am not afraid of what’s on the other side of the change. I would never restrict myself to one definition of who I am because I am a work in progress.

I don’t have all the answers and I haven’t figured it all out yet. I will never have all the answers but that’s perfectly OK with me.  I admit that I am a work in progress and I am proud of that because the work is excellent. I don’t need to figure it all out, I am just going to enjoy the process and not worry about the finish product because I am pretty confident the finish product will be beautiful.

keep growing and stay beautiful!