Blessings!!!

What comes to your mind when u think of the term 'Blessing' ? 

How have you been blessed? 

Do you take time to count your blessings?

Do you think your blessings are worth counting?

Well! To me, my blessings are each moment of my life. I believe in blessings and also in blessings in disguise. I have been blessed in many ways and many a times my blessings were  disguised as challenges. I haven't always lived a very comfortable life (and i am pretty sure most of us haven't) but those moments of my life that made me most uncomfortable are the moments I look back with gratefulness. Had it not been for the difficulties in my life, I would have never been where i am today. I definitely do not have a perfect life today but I sure am blessed. I have no desire to live a so called 'perfect life' because the imperfections are what makes me keep going. The challenges/difficulties/imperfections of life are what makes me wanna live a better life each day. 

I am always thinking about my blessings in life and at times it makes me wonder how did i deserve to be blessed so much. 

When I say I am blessed, I do not mean I have no reason to complain or that life does not frustrate me but when such things happen I do bounce back and see the brighter picture of life. I do face the challenges and tests of life every now and then (who does not?), when I face those I remind myself of all the blessings in my life and that is what helps me get back on track. 

These days we have to be careful because we have become very sensitive and we easily get offended but if only we take time to remind ourselves of all the blessings in life, we might not have to be so very sensitive. Being aware of our blessings give us the confidence and we tend to be least bothered about what others think or say about us. 

Everyone is blessed but it depends on how every individual look at it. Many a times the blessings are  disguised so I hope we do not fool ourselves and start complaining straight away. We never know those challenges we face may turn out to be the best thing that could have ever happened to us.   

Be blessed always!

Blessing,

Deborah. 

Not every Battle in life is worth fighting

I haven’t learned this the easy way but somehow I have come to understand one very important key to enjoy life and that is recognizing the battles that are not worth fighting. 

It’s very important that we learn not to make mountains out of molehills because when we do so we will be wasting so much of our time, energy and emotion to an issue or a situation which do not deserve that much of attention. 

We got to learn to ignore the battles that are not worth fighting so that we can fight those battles that are really worth fighting. Knowing what really matters in life and focusing on those things are really very important. We have limited time on earth and the battles are way too many. If we keep fighting each and every battle that comes our way, we may miss out or may not be able to fight the important battles of our life. Avoid the temptation to fight certain battles and you will see how much strength you would have stored up for the battles that are worth fighting. We got to be willing to make some changes if we want to live in peace and be happy. Being in peace is the position of power. Don’t always be upset or aggravated about one thing or the other.  Being upset is a position of weakness because while in that position we may be making poor choices that we may regret latter.  Learning to rule over our emotion is very essential to be peaceful. Investing our time changing our self instead of trying to change the circumstances around us is very important.

It is not worth wasting our precious time trying to get even with someone who wronged us. If someone has wronged us, the best favor we can do for our self is to forgive them because if we do not do so we will be fighting battle worth nothing. Don’t get stressed out if things don’t always go your way because there are things we cannot change no matter how hard we try so don’t make the mistake of getting upset about every little thing. Let us not expect everyone around us to be just like us because our differences are what make each one of us unique and that’s the beauty of life.  It’s no use trying to change things and people that are not meant to change; it’s not a battle worth fighting.

Let us  remind ourself that not every battle in life is worth fighting.

With Love,

Deborah 

Love Vs. Heartbreak

I am not an expert on the subject but I would like to share some of my thoughts on love and heartbreaks. These are all my personal thoughts so it’s fine if you do not agree because each one of us have our own opinion. 

The reason I am writing this is because it breaks my heart when I hear people blaming love for their broken hearts. I believe that true love will never break your heart and if your heart has been broken then that love was never true.

Love is a beautiful thing and there is nothing more beautiful than love. It’s the best gift anyone can receive or give. The people who have the ability to give true love and the ones who receive such love are the most blessed ones. 

There are many kinds of love, be it in any form, love is always beautiful. Its love when a mother holds her new born, its love when a dad carries his little one on his shoulder,  its love when siblings stand for each other, its love when friends encourage one another through the difficult times, its love when a wife waits with the  meal on the table for her husband, its love when parents ignore their needs for the sake of their children’s need,  likewise love has different forms and be it in any form love is always beautiful . 

 We however tend to take love in some form for granted because some of these love tend to reach us way too easily, especially our parents’ love.  In today’s generation we give up on love way too easily and that is because we are blindfolded with the wrong concepts of love.  If we truly understand what love really is, we would never give up because love in itself is very attractive and beautiful that we would never want to give up on. 

We confuse love with many other things such as fear, lust, desire, attraction, etc and that is what is causing all the chaos like broken families, heartbreaks etc in our societies today. If we truly understand what love really is and if we avoid the confusion on love, our societies would be much better place to live in because so many problems would be solved if only we could understand the real concept of love. 

True love is not about romance, candle light dinner, and walk along the beach. It’s about respect, compromise, care and trust. Though love is about compromising for the ones we love but there is a huge difference between us willing to compromise and someone making us compromise. We got be wise enough to understand the difference. You don’t have to put up an outstanding performance to be loved.

The sad truth these days is that broken hearts are very common. However, heartbreaks do not disqualify us from being able to love but instead makes us stronger and helps us understand true love better.  

Well! who doesn't get their heart broken? But that doesn't mean we have to stop loving. I like many others have had my share of heartbreak and there was a time I used to wonder why, but as the time passed by I realized that it was the best thing that ever happened to me. The heartbreaks I went through made me understand love more clearly and helped me be a stronger person than I was.

 The beauty of love is that it accepts you with all your imperfections and you never have to try and be who you are not just to be loved. If you have ever gotten your heart broken just because you couldn't live up to someone’s expectations then that person did you a great favor by breaking your heart and you will definitely be grateful to them someday if not today. 

I know it sounds weird but it’s healthy to get your heart broken at times because every heart break brings you closer to yourself and makes you analyze yourself. But of course you should be willing to do the analysis. The more time you spend analyzing and understanding yourself the more you will be able to see what you are worth. Once you understand your true worth, no one will ever be able to break your heart.

So love and heart break has no correlation because these are two different concepts. Love everyone and if ever your heart tends to be breaking don’t take it way too seriously because someday that won’t matter a bit. So why ruin your today for something that is not going to matter in the long run.  Never stop loving no matter how your experiences have been but make every experience an opportunity to learn and never blame love for your heartbreak.

I Love You  <3

With love,

Deborah J

.

what would i advice the 16 year old me?

It seems like it was just yesterday that I was 16. It’s really amazing how time passes by so swift.

I don’t have many regrets and the ones I have I try and disregard because those were the best lessons for me. Everything that I didn't do right and everything that once broke my heart helped me be a better person than who I was.  I am a firm believer that we all need to face both the dark and the brighter sides of life and make some mistakes but there are times I wish I had done things little different. So if I were to advice my 16 year old self these are few things that I would tell myself:

• ·         Age of 16 is one of the most beautiful phases of life. It’s a phase when one is no longer a girl neither a woman but is in between. So it’s an age to embrace the beauty of it and focus on being the best of you.
• ·         Listen to your heart. At this stage there seems to be so many confusions because there are many voices that says different things of what we are to do. Parents have their say, friends have their, teachers say something else and there are many more. It’s not easy to figure out whom to listen to but the best thing would be to take time to understand who you are and what you want to do with your life.
• ·         Respect yourself. People may look down on you because you are young but don’t let anyone look down on you. People will only respect you if you respect yourself so be respectful to yourself and earn respect.
• ·         Enjoy your friendships. Have enough time for friends and family. Have as much fun as you can with the people who genuinely love and care you.  Be careful not be addicted to anyone in particular that you forget others because the person you are prioritizing may not always stand by you. If that happens it’s not their fault because you have the right to choose and no one can impose that on you.
• ·         Everyone makes mistake so don’t beat up yourself for your mistakes. Learn from your mistakes but don’t let them haunt you down.
• ·         You are beautiful no matter what. Beauty is not just about how you look but it lies within in the unseen realm. As far as beauty is concerned there is no bad hair day, you are always beautiful so be confident and proud of who you are.

Well I wrote these for the 16 year old me but I realized that these principles do apply to me even today. I need to be reminded all these over and over again and that’s what I love about writing. It’s always there anytime we need a reminder. We all have bad days once in a while and we always need something to lighten up such days. For me it’s my work (my writings), every time I read I tell myself be proud of who I am and be grateful for the beautiful life I have been blessed with.  It makes me feel good again no matter what I am going through.

Just like I wrote 16 years old me I know I will have many more to write to the present me in future. The fact is that we don’t see  things the way we are suppose to and when we are suppose to. That does not however mean we are not capable of doing so. We just need to take time to understand ourselves and be the best that we can be and not worry about what others think of us.

We all need something to look back to and remind us who we are. 

Your today is going to be your memories tomorrow so make sure you are making good ones.

Love,

Deborah <3

Perfectly Imperfect

'Perfect'

Think about this word. It sounds good but what is perfect around us? 

 I have learned that perfect is not always real, whereas imperfect is real and beautiful if we have learned to see it the right way. When I look around carefully everything is so perfectly imperfect.  I have learned that nothing is perfect in the world we are living in but still everything is so beautiful. It tells me that, for anything to be beautiful it need not be perfect.

We  humans are always looking for things that we don’t posses irrespective of the fact that we may possess something better than what we are looking for.  Today we are all bound with an illusion to be someone that we are not. We long to be in someone else’s place no matter how good a place we are in. We tend to forget that even the ones we are longing to be like are no where near perfect. We are all very unique and we need to take pride in who we are. It’s always good to appreciate other people but it’s very unhealthy if we start longing to be just like them. If God wanted us to be like the person we are longing to be, He would have created us that way but He didn't and I believe He has a very good reason for that. 

It breaks my heart to see people comparing themselves to the other person they think are better than them and they complain about the differences but if we could ponder for a moment we would realize that the differences are what makes each one of us beautiful in our own way.  If only we could see how beautiful we are with all our imperfections we would never wish to be like anyone but ourselves. We got to understand that we are all different, some are tall while others are short, some are fair while others are dark, some are thin while others are fat, some have straight hair while others have curly hair, some have big eyes, nose etc  while others have small eyes, nose etc. Whichever category we fall in, we are beautiful in our own way and no one not even we ourselves have the right to think or say we are not beautiful. However we are, we are perfectly imperfect.

 It’s just a matter of perspective; all we need are the eyes and heart to see through the beauty within. It’s not just within ourselves that we need to see through but we need to learn to see the beauty in others too. We need to accept and appreciate people with their imperfections because we ourselves are nowhere near perfect but we are still beautiful so are the other people. 

Each one of us are perfectly imperfect just the way we are and so lets learn to accept ourselves and one another with the imperfections . Lets not try and change other people instead utilize that time to make the best of ourselves. 

Be the best you because you are beautiful irrespective of how you feel.  Once again you are perfectly imperfect :) .

With love,

Deborah <3

let go of the past and make a new beginning

Its always good to cherish the past if it helps us but the problem arises when we start behaving ineffectively because we think, “this is the way it has always been, and it will continue to be this way” .  

Our pasts may be useful, or they may hinder our progress and growth.  It all depends on how relevant they are to the present and how we look at it. The one reason why we are all so burdened with life is because we have the tendency to carry our bitter past with us all the time. Any time we hold resentment, we hurt our-self. We may seem to blame a person or situation but the fact is inwardly we are blaming our self up for being a part of that relationship or experience. All the time we keep hearing about letting go of our past and moving forward but we are so reluctant and we fail to do so.

As we live and experience things, we must recognize what belongs and what doesn’t, what works and what doesn’t, and then make the choice to let go off things that are not meant for us. Not out of pride, inability, or arrogance, but simply because not everything is supposed to fit into our life.  At certain point in life we got to close the door on the past, change the music, clean up the mess,  and start over. When we stop being who we once were ,we can become who we are meant to be today.  Letting go has nothing to do with weakness, but everything to do with strength.  We got to let go and move on with our lives not to let others  realize our worth, but because we finally realize our own worth.

Remember that nothing starts easy; everything begins at some level of difficulty. At first everything seems difficult  but one beautiful thing about life is the fact that the most difficult challenges often come out with the most rewarding and satisfying outcome in the long run. The reason we do not wanna let go is because we are fearful of the unknown, wanting to be within our comfort zone always, and not willing to put up with short-term pain for long-term gain. But lets not forget that growth begins at the end of all these. The most successful outcomes we know about never started from a place of comfort and ease. 

Don't be afraid to start over but get excited expecting  something new and better. You never know what's waiting for you on the other side of your fear and doubt.

One very personal tip on letting go: please never hate or keep any kind of grudge against anything or anyone you are letting go because to hate anything or anyone you have to keep them in your heart so you can not let go that way.

It’s time to open the next chapter of your life.

 Every day is an opportunity to begin again. Each moment is an opportunity to begin again.

Don't try and figure out all the 'whys', someday everything you have been through will make perfect sense and everything will fall into place.

with love, 

Deborah :)

Now is not the time to give up

We all go through the different seasons of life. We got to understand the basic fact that no season is permanent. It will change at the right time. Many of us have dreams and goals that we have set for ourselves but at times it seems to be taking too long for those dreams and goals to come to pass. 

Don't you dare think that its never gonna happen because good things do take time. All you got to do is keep believing in your dreams and know that you are the only one who has the power to make those dreams come to pass. Don't ever let the seed of belief that you once have sowed in you disappear from within because no one else can ever understand that dream better than you. Nurture your dreams and keep it safe from all odds that tell you its never gonna happen. Nothing has the power to shatter your dreams as long as you are protecting them. Your dreams are that part of you that deserves to be protected and if you have dreamed it once then I am very sure YOU ARE CAPABLE of making them come true. 

Don't let anyone tell you that you can't because not everyone will be able to see and understand what you are capable of and what you are worth.You must have failed many a times trying to achieve your dreams, but the question here is, did you make your failure a learning experience? 

If not, then please know that it was an opportunity for you to learn. Trust me if your dreams could be achieved with no difficulties and failures it wouldn't even be worth considering a dream or a goal. We want to achieve something that is not achievable easily and that's the beauty of the whole dream and goal thing. I believe that if you have dared to dream than you are very much capable of making those dreams come true but the only thing you should avoid is the temptation to give up. No matter how long it takes, as long as you are breathing its never too late. You never know your dreams may be waiting for you just a step away and so keep taking one step at a time. You have come a long way so remember that this is not the time to give up but to fasten your belt and get ready for the challenges that lie ahead. 

Keep dreaming and keep believing  because we never know what we are capable of and what can exist unless we dare to try. 

I would like to end this note by quoting Franz Kafka " By believing passionately in something that still does not exist,we create it. The non existence is whatever we have not sufficiently desired"

with love,

Deborah

Its just a season.

Today my result for final semester of M.A Economics was declared. Well I am very satisfied with my result and i cried tears of joy when i saw my result. I am overwhelmed with joy and that's not just because I passed my exam but because it reminds of me of so many incidents. 

I remember the days when i was looking for a college to enroll myself in after my graduation for my post graduation. I tried in few other colleges but couldn't get through and that did discourage me but I didn't give up. I kept trying and finally got a call from the college I did my MA from and this college was in a city I had never been to before. I knew no one in that city but I didn't want that to stop myself from joining the college so I decided to move to the unknown city. I traveled to this city for the first time on my own. All by myself I reached the city and contacted a friend and moved in to a paying guest house with her. I had no idea that I would be spending my two years in the city in the same paying guest house but well I did. My roommates changed each year because my first year's room mates passed out the year I reached my second year. I had to travel 15 minutes by auto to my college from my hostel. I have always stayed away from home and so being away from home was never an issue for me but being in city full of strangers was. There were times when I felt very lonely and cried few drops of tear but I kept encouraging myself to be strong. At times I survived with very minimum amount of cash and there were times when I had to control my hunger just to save my money for travel (especially by the end of the month) because I never wanted to miss my class by not being able to pay for my travel. I somehow completed my first year and by the time I reached my second year I had really good friends and then i didn't even realize how time started flying by. 

We were bunch of crazy people always making plans but not always fulfilling them, we had lots of fun together. We (around eleven or twelve of us) would suddenly enter one of our friends' house and would not come out without a proper meal. All of my friends' moms were very loving and hard working women who never for once failed to provide us with great meal. I really admire moms for that, I hope I will be such a mom someday.   I remember the exam times when we would gather in one of our friends house (because in our hostel boys were not allowed) and then sit for group study.

Our group study would be more of eating and chatting but of course we did study too. There were times when we would plan mass bunk from class and if someone would attend class that day we would keep nagging on them till they feel really guilty (really childish I know but that's how we were). 

Well I must say that I found awesome friends in this city that was stranger to me once. Of course we argued and misunderstood each other at times but that did not rule out the fact that we were friends. If I have to go into detail it would to be way too long but my motive here is to keep it short and to bring out the fact that life comes alive when we go ahead and start living irrespective of the situation and circumstances. This is just a part of my life, I am sure each one has their own story of how things fell into place as they moved along the way. 

Life will not always come in a complete package with everything prefixed, we have to take every bit, fix it and make it the way we want it to be. Life will never be perfect but its up to us to make it beautiful or ugly. Don't give any one or any situation the right to rule over your life, its your life and only you know how you want it so make the best of it. If you feel like all the odds are against you and life is not fair just remember that its just a season that will pass by and a new season will be here soon. Till then just make the best out of today and live the best life possible today. When the new season arrives you definitely want something good to look back to. You are making memories each day so why make bad memories when you have equal option to make the good ones. Its just a matter of perception, choice and time. 

Keep the right perception, make the right choices and be patient when the new season is on its way. Live this moment you have because whether you realize it or not, this is best gift you have been given, how you handle your present will to large extend determine your future. 

Whatever difficulties you are going through today just remember that its not here to stay, its just a season that will pass by so keep up a good attitude, put on your beautiful smile and don't stop living. Life is too short to waste on any matter that is keeping you from living the best life. You deserve to be happy and live to the fullest so don't compromise for anything less. Be more grateful and less critical, then see your life  being transformed. 

All the best for the best life you will be living.  Your Best Days are not far off, prepare yourself well. God bless you.

Loads of love,

Deborah. <3

your life depends so much on your perception

RISE ABOVE YOUR CIRCUMSTANCES: 

Life is so much more than your circumstances

“People are always blaming circumstances for what they are. I don’t believe in circumstances. The people who get ahead in this world are the people who get up and look for the circumstances they want, and if they can’t find them, make them.”    

                    -George Bernard Shaw

I remember the day when I walked out for school for the first time at the age of three and half. There was no one to drop me till the campus but I followed some elder kids till school. When I reached the school I was really confused because the reality of school was beyond my imagination. I had imagined school to be a big campus where everyone would sit around playing and enjoying but there were buildings (the buildings when I think today were not that tall but that time those were like multi story buildings ) inside which there were so many classes. I had no idea where I was suppose to sit so I randomly chose a class and sat, however, later I was sent to my class. 

In my country kids are not admitted in the government schools before the age of six and private schools are expensive but I was really desperate to go school that I somehow managed to be there at the age of three and half. When I think of that today, I have to say that God's favor was upon me even then. I somehow joined the school staying away from parents at that age ( I had the spirit to fight with my circumstances even at that age) but it was definitely not easy at all. I cried, laughed, stumbled, fell and stood back up and walked on my own. I had no one to cry with and never had any options, had to accept whatever came along the way. I had no option to choose what I wanted to eat, wear, play etc. So I learned to accept whatever I was provided with and was still grateful for all those and still am today. I had no one to turn to when I wanted a shoulder to lean on and cry. Overall I grew up on my own without holding anyone's finger from the age of three and half. My parents appreciate me for never being demanding as a kid but that was because I had to learn to be that way. I stayed away from my parents since I came to my senses and of course others would not tolerate my childish behaviors so the only option I was left with was to act mature as soon as possible. I don't want to go into detail because it somehow still hurts me when I think of all those. I somehow got through that phase of my life and I thought the most bitter part of my life was over and that I had climbed the highest mountain.

   I was absolutely wrong because so many things happened one after another in my life along the way. The thing is I had to understand life is a series of all these ups and downs. The bitter incidences in my life have always helped me grow more than the good ones. After every storm I find myself at a higher level than the previous level. If through good circumstances I have climbed one step higher, the storms in my life have taken me ten steps higher. Its true that when I think of those dark phases of my life I can feel some kind of pain in some corner of my heart but at the same time I am grateful to God for letting those dark phases be a part of life because without those phases I would not have been able to learn as much as I have been able to till date.

 At times I of course felt like God was so very ignorant toward me but I have to admit the fact that 'His grace was always enough for me to get through' and I always made to the next level. I am glad that I never gave in but chose to rise above my circumstances. My battle is not over yet and it will continue as long as I am breathing but one thing I am very sure and confident about is that God will always be my refuge and I will get through rising higher and higher irrespective of the circumstances.

I have no complains, no regrets and no grudges but instead I am very grateful to all those who made the journey of my life interesting by making it difficult for me. If everything would have turned out the way I wanted, I guess I would have never learned what I have learned. Whatever I have learned along the way so far and whatever I will be learning along the way further are and will be my greatest wealth or asset. Every bad circumstances and every difficult people promoted me to a higher level and helped me gain extra favor in God's sight. What can be a greater and better gift than that! I have the strength to smile and hope even in the darkest phase of my life. I am confident that I am fully prepared for whatever lies ahead because I have the favor of the Almighty.

I want to encourage all those  who are in the midst of any kind of storm. You are not alone and if you are willing you can rise very high. Its up to you to decide whether you are gonna let your circumstances take you down or higher than you could ever imagine. Make a decision today whether you want to become the victim or the VICTOR. Whatever you decide will define your life so make sure you make a the right decision.

REMEMBER ITS JUST A TEST.

Some of my favorite Quotes

'A little more persistence, a little more effort, and what seemed hopeless failure may turn to glorious success.'   By Elbert Hubbard

“Nothing could be worse than the fear that one had given up too soon, and left one unexpended effort that might have saved the world.” By Jane Addams

“Our greatest glory is not in never falling but in rising every time we fall.”  By Confucius

“Never let your head hang down. Never give up or sit down and grieve. Find another way.”             

 By Satchel Paige

“You just can’t beat the person who won’t give up.”  By Babe Ruth

“The world ain’t all sunshine and rainbows. It’s a very mean and nasty place and I don’t care how tough you are it will beat you to your knees and keep you there permanently if you let it. You, me, or nobody is gonna hit as hard as life. But it ain’t about how hard ya hit. It’s about how hard you can get hit and keep moving forward.”

by Rocky Balboa

My best wishes and love to everyone. You haven't lost the battle as long as you have the spirit to fight. 

ALL THE BEST.

Loads of love Deborah

Introduction

On this journey of life I know I am going to walk through the sunshine, storm, rain and rainbow but whatever the journey be I am never going to give up living beautiful.
This blog is to remind myself and all the those who read my posts that we all mess up at times in this journey and it is going to be difficult at times but that does not mean we are to give up or stop living the best life.
Every time we are tempted to give up, we got to remind our-self that the best is yet to come .
Let's stay strong and live beautiful. 

loads of love

Deborah <3